TheSwordsmanslife
A blog about my life in and out of running a HEMA club. I teach Historical European Martial Arts in Salt Lake City.
Sunday, August 3, 2025
Combat Con until we meet again.
Tuesday, July 22, 2025
My 10 years of Combat Con.
"For years there were excuses.
I can't because of... distance, time, money, reasons.That ended a little bit ago when my wife said that if I wanted to go to Combat Con 2014 for my birthday weekend that we would figure out how to make it happen. Sometimes that is all it takes."
That was, where it all began, for years I had sat behind a keyboard complaining about how it was not fair that everyone else in the community got to go to events and I never had. I complained about the costs for it, the costs for equipment, the costs to go to do something outside of my local area. I was, in many ways whiny and to be honest I can imagine looking back at it now I was rather annoying.
Then in June of 2014 I did something that I feel like changed my life for the better. Moving from the idea of "I can't" to "how can I" I attended my first large HEMA event at Combat Con 2014. That experience changed my life. I met friends I consider family in many ways at that event and over the years at other events. But more than all of that, Combat Con made me realize that though I was not always sure how I would make things work, if I put my mind to it I could do and accomplish great things.
The following year, they had added a cutting qualifier to the steel tournaments and as I had never cut with a sharp sword I failed it. Bound and determined to do better I applied myself where I was put and though it did not go as well as I had wanted, I showed up and gave it my best.
The next time I was there and attempted it, and having put in the work, practice and focus I passed.
Combat Con has been a home where I could teach classes that I enjoy teaching whether or not they are "HEMA Specific" and some of my more popular classes where we work with different things people do not always have experience working with.
Combat Con was the place where after crashing my motorcycle I decided that when I was there again I would passed my HEMA Alliance Instructor certification.
I have been teaching at the event for years now, and even when I feel like I do not always have the most to bring to the table, people show up to hear what it is that I do I have to say, whether that is a class on Rule #1 Don't die, or Getting the things in our lives that we really want, or good old fashioned how to beat someone with a pole hammer. Combat Con has been a home for me and more than that it has been a place where I could learn and grow and get better at doing the things I love doing.
In 2022, I won my first medal at an event that was not local at Combat Con and though it was only a bronze the cheers from the crowd when I won, and the support of the community I felt when it happened are like nothing I have ever felt. To my community, to my friends, to the people who supported me, it was a proud moment whether they had much to do with me winning or not.
I have laughed, and cried in both joy and sorrow at this event. Been proud of myself, and had people I respect and love tell me they are proud of me. I have stayed out until the sun came up, and in the last few years, spent time with some of my favorite people and went to bed at a reasonable hour because "I have to fight in the morning"
This year, my last class is going to be an interesting one. I am teaching how to be strong by being weak. None of my classes, or at least none of my favorites, stand alone as "only a sword class" it is not how I am built. Rule #1 is about not dying but what I talk about there is rather than focusing on not dying, do what you can to be safe and live intentionally, in all you do in and out of sword.
Being strong by being weak has a part to it that is using good body mechanics to give the strong man a different direction to channel that strength, but again, I can't just write a "Sword" class. Being strong by being weak means sometimes it is ok to be sad. Sometimes it is ok to feel your feelings and let that be alright. We may be doing difficult things but its ok sometimes to take a moment to breathe and take care of ourselves. If there is a final message that I have to give to the community of Combat Con, it is that. It is ok to feel sad that things are going away and we will never have those moments again, it is also ok to dance like you are dressed like a 16th century monarch with reckless abandon because as much as we want to hold tightly to those things, they too shall pass. All we can do is our best, make the memories and take the pictures we remember to take and remember that we are a family not of flesh and blood but of common cause and care. And though we may find ourselves miles away from each other it is that camaraderie that binds us.
Combat Con has changed my life for the better and I am grateful for all the time and effort put into it for all the years. I also know that acorns do not grow in the shade of the mighty oak, and it is ok to let it go, because for a time we had this place, and it will live forever within us, and that is a gift that no one can ever take away.
Friday, February 16, 2024
Thinking makes it so: Resiliency in tournament practice
Thinking makes it so: Resiliency in HEMA practice
Jordan Hinckley
When focusing on resiliency there are 3 aspects that we must take into consideration. The first is how do we mentally prepare for the stress of competition? The second is how do we keep our focus in the midst of that stress? The last is simply how do we assess our performance afterward in a way to keep moving forward? All three of these are connected as one feeds into the next in a circular fashion. We can think of these three as the Future, Present and Past.
In this class we will look at all 3 aspects and look at some ways in which we can control the things within our control and as a whole connect these 3 parts in our regular training and practice.
Future: Why do I compete?
You are in the middle of a match, those stupid judges didn’t see the last three hits you landed on your opponent, your pulse is high, you can’t focus, “I can win this,” you think, but you cannot let go of the fact that last exchange you hit them 3 times and not one of those was counted by those dumb judges. Are the judges blind? What is wrong with them? Why didn’t the other guy acknowledge it? The director calls resume and physically you are present but can’t let the last 3 exchanges go mentally. You can’t let go of the idea that they are up by several points and you know you only have a few exchanges left if you want to win and time is running out. Your will to push harder is all but gone. Another point is called for your opponent, and with it, the last exchange. You walk away from the ring frustrated and mad at the judges, mad at yourself, and mad at the person who just beat you.
Let’s face it, the reality of competition is that it can be a potentially stressful situation, so why do we do it? To win shiny things? To win accolades from friends, family, and those in the community whom we respect? Or is it something deeper like to trying out a technique we have been working on in class in a stress testing situation to see if we can make it work when the opportunity presents itself. Maybe we do it for fun, and love of the challenge of it all.
What is within your control?
Unpacking the reasons why we compete or why we practice, we must define what is within our control and what is not.
We cannot control if we win a medal or not, we cannot control what the judges see, we cannot control who our opponent is, and we cannot directly control their actions.
If succeeding at a tournament is a question of if you won a medal or not, in a field of 64 fighters, at best, only 4 will go home with a medal hanging on their necks from winning that tournament. Effectively what that means is that 7 or 8 percent of fighters will “succeed” and the other 92%-93% will by that same metric, fail.
We cannot control what the judges see. I always tell my students to assume that the judges are biased against you, because if you set out to make every exchange clean, regardless of the points scored, for or against you, you are fencing safely, and this must be our primary objective.
We cannot control who is in our pool, if we make it to eliminations, or what bracket we will be fighting in. We cannot control who is in our class and wants to spar with us but what we can control is how we personally face everyone whom we interact with.
We cannot control the perceptions of others, even if we win big, there may be people who give us little or no respect for it. Alternatively, there may be people who believe that they were robbed because in their minds they can beat us, and as such they are more deserving of a medal or a big win than we are.
We cannot control anyone else, but what we can control are our personal actions and how we present ourselves regardless of how it is viewed by others.
The only thing within our control is what is inside us. How we are mentally and physically prepared, if we are giving our best, and are we fully present in the moment during this match. We owe it to ourselves to give the best we have in this moment. That is not to say the best we may ever have, or the best we can do tomorrow, it means flaws and all, we are compassionate to where we are today. We may be tired, have a headache, or just not feeling at the top of our game and that is ok. Doing our best today means despite this, we are giving it the best we can at this moment. It may not mean we will win but we can be comforted in knowing that we have given the best we are capable at the moment.
We can control our actions in a given situation. If we have been working hard on a technique for a while and the opportunity presents itself to use it, do we have the presence of mind to see it and to act on it?
When I have students who are setting goals for competition one thing that we focus on is realistic goals that are achievable. In a field of 10 of the top fighters in the world, I am not likely to win 1st place, but I can give them my best, fight as hard as I can, with all I have, and make it so that they had to work to win the match.
Writing Prompt:
Why do you compete/practice? What you are doing or plan to do?
What factors of your why are always within your control?
How do you measure success or failure to that metric?
Present: How do I bring myself back to my goal?
It is the middle of a match, you are not sure what the score is, but you feel like you are on the top of your game today. You just hit your opponent, which the judges didn’t see, and your opponent shortly after scored a point which they did. You are on the edge of the ring, you come back to focus, the director resumes the match and in a moment of calm you walk back into the ring ready to give it your best.
If we begin with why we compete, the next thing we can ask is how do we bring ourselves back to that purpose when tension is high, adrenaline is pumping, and we feel like we are doing our best just to keep it all together. The simplest thing is a short mantra to bring us back to focus. This doesn’t need to be a paragraph; the reality is the simpler we can make it the better, because we can think it and remember it easily. Even something as easy as “I’ve got this”, “This is the way”, “Keep doing my best”, “Be here now” or in the case when things went in a direction you had not expected, “So what?”
In the middle of the match, we do not have time to think long drawn-out mantras to become present, we do not have time to assess everything that is going on in depth, but what we do have time for is to come back to our goal and focus.
Unfortunately, many of us take the same time to get discouraged by mental scorekeeping, or being mad at the judges for failing to see something we feel we did well. In the short pauses between exchanges there are 2 things we can do easily. The first is to come back to our focus, the second is to get clear about what is happening and what we need to do in order to keep moving forward. Maybe everything is going well, you are meeting their way of fighting with your own and it is working. Awesome, come back to the present, keep your cool, and keep going. This is also a time when a corner coach can help you keep that focus or remind you of your goal.
Another way we can deal with stressful situations is to go back to our breathing, this may as simple as a few deep breaths in and out, or as complicated as box breathing which consists of breathing in to a count of 5, holding for a count of 5, breathing out for a count of 5, then staying empty for a count of 5. The number of counts does not matter as long as they are the same, but the idea is to breathe in, hold it, breathe out, and hold that before beginning again. The idea of focusing on the breath is one that is used in many places but it is a way of becoming present to this moment and back to right now where you can focus on what is at hand in front of you.
One thing I like to use is the idea of “So What” because it allows me to have the power to decide how I want to move forward. The question of “So What” can be helpful because all we are asking is what meaning a particular thing has. What does it matter if they hit me in the last exchange? What does it matter if the judges did or did not see something I am doing? Am I trying to impress them? Can I impress anyone else since they are out of my control? Am I giving things the best I have today?
Writing prompt:
In the middle of the match what is something you can think that will bring you back to your goal?
What is something that you can think of or recite in the moment to bring you back to the present?
Past: Assessment of how things went, how to move forward.
In reviewing how a match, or tournament went it is easy enough if you do not feel like you did as well as you had wanted to get stuck in the mindset of “I failed, I am no good at this, maybe I should give up” While this can be a natural effect of things going in a way that you had not hoped or expected, I would suggest a different path. In looking at your performance ask yourself “Did I control the things within my control? Was I able to focus on the task at hand when it happened? Was I flexible enough with changing circumstances to adapt when I needed to? Lastly, and most importantly, did I succeed in accomplishing my objectives whatever they were?
Maybe your why was in pressure testing a technique. Was this something you had an opportunity to do and did so? If your why was just to have some fun sparring with some people you do not get to spar regularly, or make new friends, were you able to do that? What did you do well and you want to continue? What did you do less than you wanted and would like to improve on? In the assessment phase it is easy enough to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I once had an experience when I did not do as well as I had wanted in a tournament and I told my wife I was going to build a completely new training regimen. She asked me what I felt had gone well.
Instead of building a whole new training program from scratch, the better solution was to ask myself what was I currently doing to make the things that had gone well work, and what did I need to add to it in order to improve in other areas. What I had wrong was the idea that I needed to tear everything apart and build it all over from scratch. Sure, some things needed work but some things were in fact working and I needed to acknowledge those things and if possible, keep up with those as they were working well. Did I need to supplement things? Absolutely, but supplementation is not a wholesale replacement for no other reason than being discouraged at a single factor of my performance.
The assessment phase is where we can look at how we did in retrospect, and decide the way forward. Did your mantras keep you present in the fight? If not, do they need to be modified? Were you able to see things clearly? Did your focus stay on the present when the match was going on? Were you able to remember your why and keep it at the forefront of your mind as you faced your challenges?
Writing prompt:
What about your tournament performance do you feel good about?
What about your performance do you feel could use improvement?
Does this change your Why?
What is your plan to move forward and work on the things that need to be improved on?
Conclusion
Scenario
You are in the middle of a match; your mind is calm and focused. You are fully present right where you are. Win or lose you are having a great time fighting someone who is giving you a challenge. If pressed, you can think of exchanges that were really cool, but most of all, you are having fun being here doing something you enjoy doing. Sure, the judges did not see that cool thing that you just did, but they are people doing the best they can so you cut them some slack and intend to make the next exchange cleaner so they can see it more plainly. You do not know the score, but for you, right now, it doesn’t matter, this is fun, and you are having the time of your life. The table calls match and you go to shake the hand of your new friend. Win or lose, it does not matter, because you have had an opportunity to fence with someone to whom you gave your best because they, and you, deserve nothing less.
Resiliency is not about the other person, it is not about forcing the judges to see something, it is not about medals or accolades. What it is about, is controlling the things in your power to control and doing your best today, right now, in this moment. We can lose a match and still be undefeated as a person. The things in our control are how we respond to the things that happen around us, and therein lies our true power.
Sunday, July 24, 2022
Combat Con 2022 A golden Bronze weekend.
Wednesday, June 23, 2021
How to get what you (Really) want.
What do you want?
This seems like an easy enough question, there are lots of things in life that we want, or feel like we deserve, but how do we move them from the wanting column to the obtained column? Think about something in your life that you desire. This does not have to be a big thing just something you want.
Have an answer? Cool.
Now is where it gets harder.
Why do you want it? What would having it do for you, or how would it change the way your life is? What is the deeper meaning behind it? The thing is, we don't want things to have them, though we think we do. We want them for the experience that we will get, or think we will get from them. We want to win the lotto not to have a million dollars in the bank, but because of the things we can do with the money, or the feeling of financial stability that it will bring. We want to win big at the tournament because of what it says about us, or what it says about our progress on what we have been working on. The goal is not about the things, it is about what that goal means to us, what it will DO for us.
Even things that we want that we feel we will get nothing out of we have some sort of attachment to. You volunteer at a soup kitchen to feed the homeless. You do this to help people who are starving. Cool, that s a noble thing. But down deep there is something in doing it that makes you feel good. We seek the things we do because they provide some sort of validation, or do something for us on some level even if that level for what they say about who we are as a person.
So now we go back to the beginning, what do you really want? If it is not about the thing, is there another way you can reach the why without that specific thing? If winning big is about self esteem, then could you reach the goal without winning the gold medal? If it is about how others view you, are there other ways to reach that? Is it possible to let others opinion of you go so it is not important? The key here is to look at the goal and ask, if your objective lies in the why, is there any other way to get there?
Lets take an example.
I feel like I am out of shape because of my weight, so my goal is to lose weight. When I look at the why, it comes back to me not feeling good about how I look and how other judge me. So the why is really that I do not feel good about how I look and how others may judge me. Are there things I can do other than lose a bunch of weight to fix the perception that I do not feel good about how I look? Can I work on my self esteem to feel better about myself? Can I let go of toxic people who are always talking bad about me to build myself up? If the true why is about how I feel about myself then there are many ways I can get there. When we focus on the why, the way forward may expand.
There may be many whys and this is something to contend with. Maybe there is a number of whys, Maybe dropping a few pounds is about self esteem, how others view you but also handling medical conditions you have. The reality is that even in these multitudes of whys there may be more than one way to get there. If I want to drop some pounds, dieting and exercise may be a way forward, so may surgery, or certain medications that help, the way forward is can have many paths to achieving the why, so the reality is that there may be more than one way to get what you want.
What is realistic? If it is my first tournament and I just expect to win first place just because I want it, I may not be facing the reality of the situation. If my goal is to win all of my matches but I have a hard pool, is that realistic? Is doing your best enough, or does it have to be something more? I am not suggesting don't strive for the best, but if you fall short, how will you handle it? Be specific about your goals, but be willing to modify them based on the reality of the situation. Having concrete goals is great, but be flexible with it if needed. If my only definition of success is to win all my matches and I have a pool of all top tier fighters, can I be ok with doing my best, giving my all, and letting things fall as they will? If not, then I may be setting myself up for disappointment. All I can do is give it all I have and be proud of what I have brought to the table.
How do you get there?
Lets assume that we are living in a perfect world, what steps do you need to do to get you in the right place at the right time to reach your goals. If you don’t know what it will take, ask someone who knows, do your research. Is the bar too high based on your time commitment, or is it just right? Do you need to change the big goal to meet what you are willing dedicate to it, or does your time commitment meet your ability to reach your goal? If you have to move the chains for now, do it, it is far better to reach little goals and add them up, than to set one big goal and feel like you have failed when you fall short.
Who is your team? This is not just about support but accountability. If your team won’t call you out when you slip, they are not holding you accountable. That does not mean do not tell other people about your goal, but it means pick a team of people who will check in and keep you accountable. It is easy to be supportive, it is harder to keep someone accountable. Find yours, know the difference between your support team and your accountability team, both support but in different ways. This can be friends, family, mentors, teammates, but if they will not hold you to it, they are supporting you but not keeping accountable to what you say you want to accomplish.
Except when you don’t, because sometimes you won't- Dr. Seuss
How do you handle falling down. Some days you will fall short of your objective. That is a part of life, how will you handle it when it happens? It is easy enough to walk into a new program expecting to never fail, but the reality is that at some point you won't feel like putting in the work. How will you handle it? Will you get up and do it anyway? Will you take today off and get back on it tomorrow? How will you keep going when you fail, or when you just are not feeling like it? How
can your support team help you? I am not suggesting set yourself up for failure, just know that eventually it may happen so be ready from the beginning to handle it if and when it does.
Sunday, May 23, 2021
460 and beyond
Day 460 of daily intentional exercise in the books. At this point my plan is to just keep going until Combat Con if not past it. (Why not?)
Tuesday, February 16, 2021
365 days of intentional exercise, and the greater meaning of Rule #1
This morning I did day 365 of daily intentional exercise. It has been quite the journey and I was not sure at the beginning I would stick with it this long. It is easy to give up one day, It is easy to say, I am too tired, or there is not enough time in the day to take time for myself to reach my goals. It is easy, to fall off the horse, and say, I just do not have enough fight in me to make it this time. It is easy to get knocked down and from your back, in the mud and the muck say, I have been bested, I live here now.
But that is the thing about it, it is our choice to lay in the muck and the mud as it ooozes through our armor and say, I give up, I just can't do any more. It takes gumption to say, maybe today I fell but tomorrow I will get up stare the challenge straight in the face and say "I get to choose when I am done, and today is not that day." It is our choice to endure even when we have been knocked down. It is our choice to get up, wash off the mud, and keep going.
The thing is, that this is not about going at a full tilt and doing actual harm to yourself because you cannot take a break, in fact the opposite is true. There will be days when doing what you have promised yourself takes some adjustment. There may be a day when doing something active means taking an easy day of relaxing yoga, or long deep stretches, or taking a good walk to think about things and process what is going on, and what life means for you. I had days when I did that. I had days when I did not feel good so I took an evening of stretches instead of a hard sweat pouring workout. It happens, that is a part of doing intentional exercise while honoring your needs for the day.
I teach a sword class called: rule #1 don't die. the class itself is about doing smart things in your sword work so you are not taking bad decisions for the sake of a quick easy point win. In the tournament and sparring sense, it is a class about choosing what you will do in a fight, picking your shots and doing things that are the best for you. In a larger context rule number #1 is about intentional living. It is about realizing that at any moment your life may end. You may walk down the street and be hit by a drunk driver, or you may live a long long life and die of old age after beating cancer twice. The point here is that we cannot avoid our own deaths. We can do things to be safer, but in the end, we will all meet our ends.
There are 2 ways to look at it, if we focus on the end, things can look bleak and dark. If we realize that we are on a path that we can enjoy along the way, we can stop and smell the flowers because these may be the last chance we have. Breathe deep, watch the snow fall, enjoy your meals, hug your loved ones, and forgive those who have wronged you. If this was the end, what would be left unsaid, what would you regret not doing, who would you regret not being? That is what the journey is about.
If this was your last meal, would you be satisfied with it? Life is too short to eat bad meals, or not take care of yourself. This is what the daily intentional exercise is all about. It is about being in your body, being alive, experiencing who you are. Rule #1 is about living your life with intention. That is where it all comes from. Experiencing the struggle knowing that this is fleeting, this pain, this struggle, this workout, this week in school, or work, will end, and when you can stand in the sun on the other side of the cold winter of it, the feeling of triumph will be amazing.
This is the secret of this process, it is about honoring who you are, taking some time alone and doing something for you. I am now facing the beginning of year two, but some days, I know I will not feel like getting up and doing it, but I will because I will endure. To that end, for me, I have written a daily mantra to remind myself of how far I have come, where I am and where I want to be.
It goes:
When I wake in the morning, I take the time I need to
prepare and face my day with humor, calm, wisdom, and clarity.
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious
privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”- Marcus
Aurelius
At the beginning of the day, I am grateful for all I have
before me, at the end of the day, I am grateful for all I have had the ability
and privilege to do and be through the miracle of this body of mine. Every day is a
prayer, every day is a blessing.
You sir, are a
badass.
I do things every day that help me reach my goals.
I eat good foods that support my health and fitness goals.
I walk proud knowing all the people who are standing behind
me cheering for my success.
I walk tall knowing just how far I have come. I have
stumbled in the past, but now when I fall, I brush myself off and get right
back up again.
I know who I am, I know what I want, and I let go of the
past hurdles I placed in my own way to get where I want to be.
I speak clearly when there are things I need or want knowing
that the Universe provides as I speak my truth.
I am clear in mind, purpose and action. I drink the water I
need, I take my vitamins, and rest when I need it.
“You have to decide what your highest
priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically,
to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger
“yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.” ― Stephen Covey
I am the Iron boar. I am calm and social, but I am always inches away from going wild if I need to be. I am tough, but under the right conditions I am also malleable and changeable. I am strong, and brave, and willing to face the things that scare me. I learn hard things and do hard things because I am strong enough to bear them. My strength comes from within and that strength manifests in my strong body and mind.
I am a willing to work through the tough
times because I know in the end how sweet my triumph will feel.
I know that down does not mean out, it just means down right
for now, this match, this tournament, this event or this weekend but it does
not mean forever.
I have friends who want to see me succeed, because when I do
it, we all rise together.
Maybe today did not go so well. Maybe I fell off my food
plan, or exercise today but that is a drop in the bucket compared to how far I
have come when I started.
A year ago, I made a decision. I would exercise, I would do
something active every day. A year later, here I am. This is the first step, and I keep walking knowing that the only way is forward.