Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Getting there and back again: Combat Con

For years there were excuses.
I can't because of... distance, time, money, reasons.
That ended a little bit ago when my wife said that if I wanted to go to Combat Con 2014 for my birthday weekend that we would figure out how to make it happen. Sometimes that is all it takes.

This last weekend 2 things happened, I went to my first larger sword event, and I turned 33. One of these things would have happened regardless. If the excuses had kept up, the other one would not have.

The thing is that living in Utah, HEMA for me, is pretty culturally limited. There is another group near by but other than the 2 of us, there is nothing for 400 miles around. At one time that would have meant total cultural isolation, in the world of the internet, it means often times a lot of reasons why not to do something. A flight to the east coast, where many events are held annually, costs me 300 dollars, the event plus lodging transportation and the like means they are not cheap to get to. Add to that the fact that I was lacking equipment I needed to compete, the excuses just added up. There was plenty of reasons not to, what I did not see was that there was just as many reasons if not more to make it work, and the pay off is actually more valuable than the time and money put into it.

What changed as a friend put it was from I can't to "Fuck it". You see, for all that time there were reasons I couldn't. A major one being money. It is not cheap to travel and train. It is not cheap to get enough gear that you can compete on a larger level than your own home group. All of that is true, when it is big bite thinking. Sure, I did not have an extra 350 dollars for a sword that I could use in the steel tournament, but what I did have was 5 dollars, or 10 dollars, or 50 here and there that added up to it. If I cut back on eating at the cafeteria at work one day a week, I could save 7 or 8 dollars. If I did it multiple times, it added up quick. Sometimes you have to sacrifice the now for the bigger pay off. Of course I had heard that before, I knew it, but I still let things stand in my way.  200 for event fees was not easy, nor was 250 for hotel for the weekend, but it became easy when I realized that if I slipped a little money each pay check away (enough that I did not notice it being gone) that it added up on its own. If I helped it by adding to that money I would have spent buying things I did not need like eating out when I could make food at home, suddenly there was a change and it all showed up.

Again, I knew this. I have done it before when things looked a lot harder, but I had let the excuses stand in my way.
The change was moving from "I can't" to "How can I?". It is a minor change, but it has big repercussions. One says there is not a way, the other gets the brain working. "I can't" shuts it down, "How can I?" means that you are looking for ways to. Not big ways, like winning the lottery and that is the only way to get there, but small things like gathering change or doing little side things for a little extra money. "How can I?" means that there is a way, and all I need to do is figure out how to make it work. So, last week, walking into it, I knew it was happening, I was ready, and more to the point, I had made it work.

This does not mean that I am going to everything throughout the year. But it means that here is where I start. It may be next year before I go to another, but 1 a year beats none a year.

All of that being said, here is my review:
I have not been to this casino, or another event so I have nothing to compare it to with that in mind the following happened:
I was put in a pool with 3 other really good fencers.
I did not win any of my bouts (or if I did, it was less important)
I never felt so out classed that I could not keep pace with them. When the head is 4 points, the body is 3, legs 2, and arms 1, a loss of 8 points could mean that you simply lost a couple of exchanges ant they hit you in the head twice. One of my friends who came down with us lost a match by 4 but when you realize it was tied until the last exchange, it is hardly a big loss.

So what did I learn from it? I met some great people in person who I had only exchanged messages online with. I took a lot of classes and picked up a lot of new drills and info. I learned some what I have been doing sloppy for awhile, and needs to be fixed to be able to push myself to the next level. (Tournaments will teach you where your weaknesses are more than in drilling or fun sparring ever will) But I learned something else as well. I learned that I am on the right track. Through classes I realized that some of my instincts are pretty right on. Some are not, but it feels good to know that I am on track, and with a little work could really make that better.

Going in, I was worried. What if I show up and I do look like a fool? What if I show up thinking I know what I am doing and I get my ass handed to me because I am off in left field. What I found out is that I am not. Maybe I am a bit slower, maybe I am not in the shape I want to be, but I am not totally wrong about everything and need to go back to square one with it all. Do I need to work to improve? Of course. Is it a major course correction that requires I throw out all of my ideas on everything and start at square one again? Absolutely not, and that among everything else is the lesson I gained from this weekend. Yes I learned some great tricks and tips some new drills to add to my personal training and things to share with my class, but the confidence that I can at least hold my own and am doing OK even if I am not the best out there makes it all worth it. It was worth the having a sandwich from home for lunch or doing other things to save money so I could get there, instead of using it on other things and complaining that it was never accessible. It was worth all of it, so I could get that lesson. and that is something I can't but help be happy about. It was a fantastic weekend and though the drive was a pain, I learned so much.

In closing I want to say thank you to my wife who encourages me, though she never wanted to learn anything about sword, and will never join my class she is a huge part of it by supporting me in all I am trying to do with it. I also want to thank those who pushed me. The ones I got mad at because they made me push my (perceived) limits. The Mike Edelsons of the world, who made me push my own buttons, and got me riled up enough that I came around to see that though I could not make 10 events a year, 1 or 2 was definitely within reach, and if not that to do something locally. No more excuses. I also want to thank everyone I met this weekend who were so kind to me. It was nice to meet people I have known online for a long long time, but got to meet in person for the first time, some of whom I had the distinct pleasure of crossing blades with for tournament or just for fun.

What a spectacular way to spend my 33rd birthday.