Day 0: Welcome to the world!

My dear son, Welcome to the world!

As of today, life expectancy in Salt Lake county, Utah is 78.1 years.

A gallon of Gasoline costs: $2.39

A loaf of bread at Smiths costs: $1.79

A dozen eggs costs:$1.99

A gallon of Milk costs: $3.29 though you can get it on sale for $2.59

A regular movie ticket costs: $9.50 

A 3D movie ticket costs: $11.50

the number 1 movie in America for last weekend was: Goosebumps

the number 1 song in America on Billboards top 200 was The Hills by the Weekend ( I do not know this song except to know that they were on Saturday Night live a couple of weeks ago.) 

Over the last couple of days the weather has been cooler and rainy on and off. 

You were born into this world at: 9:51 PM

You were 8 pounds and 15 oz and 21.5 inches long

Those are the statistics. Life is much more than that though little guy. 

Story of your birth: 

On 10/19 your mom went to the midwife with high blood pressure. Last night we stayed home, hoping that you were going to come when he blood pressure went down. On 10/20 I went to my appeal case then came home, your mom worked a while then came home, were we ran a few errands. We picked up some toys for Sam to play with and tear apart and a couple of things from Target for you, then picked up Crown burger for Bacon Cheese burgers. Your mom had Onion rings, and a Strawberry shake, I had Fries and a Power aide. When we talked to the Midwife she said to call the hospital about 7 to find out when we can go in and start what we needed to so you would get here.

It is now 6:30 and your mom is taking a shower while I am waxing introspective on the cycle of birth, and the changing from one stage of life to another. It is strange to think that in a short amount of time I will be a father, whether I am ready to be or not. This is a big change as my life is no longer only mine alone but also, for a time as a role model and support for you and your mother. The only such transformation I have been through before was that of being married, where in one moment you move from being a single person to a part of a couple, to something more than that, a couple for life. When you get married you are saying that you choose that person for now, but also for always. Things may change that, but that is the idea when you marry.
Fatherhood is something different. It is not having a child then at some time if things are not working out leaving them. Like it or not, I am your father for life.

At 8:30 pm we checked in at the hospital and started the stuff to ripen your moms cervix and by 2:00 am your moms water had broken. By 5:00 am we were still waiting but your mom was feeling better after having gotten some sleep. Because of the medications that they have your mom on we have had to have have you monitored all night. It was not the plan, but we did it anyway. The funny thing about it is that we had been listening to it all night and the consistent rhythm made sleeping easier. It was a calming wave sound and its consistent rhythm had allowed me to feel that soon you would not be just sounds and pictures on a screen but someone I could hold and love for the rest of my natural days.
All of the day on Wednesday someone was with your mom. Your aunt Cookie and I took turns in in the room with your mom. Every time she needed to get up and go to the bathroom. we were the first to disconnect the machines and move the IV, then move it again when she was ready to get back in the bed.

We waited all day but she had not dilated beyond a 2. By 6:00 pm things had gotten to be too much and your moms anxiety and pain had gotten to be too much for her to bear so she asked for the epidural. Again, this is not something we had planned on, but sometimes plans change. In the birth plan we had 1 central idea which was respect your mom, respect the baby. The choice was your moms and in the end, that is all that matters. Our ideal has always been healthy mom, healthy baby and as long as we are able to bring you home, and we feel our choices are honored we have come to the place that it will be OK. Sometimes life is like that. When I married your mom, not everything happened how we had planned but in the end we left Vegas happily married and that was all that mattered.

By 9:00 your mom felt like she was ready to have you and she had dilated to a 10. Once the midwife got there your mom started pushing. The pushing took less than a half hour and you were born by 9:51 on 10/21/15. As soon as you were born we put you on your moms chest. and she got to hold you for the first time. During that time you pooped on your mom a couple of times. By 10:22, your mom was not doing so well and so I took my shirt off and we started doing some skin on skin while they figured out what your mom needed. You aunt cookie says that it was crazy fast the way I did it but I was ready to hold you and wanted you to have the skin on skin that we had agreed you needed. I helped them weigh you, and then you pooped on me. I clamped your cord, and cut it both the first time, but also the second time. You started your life at 8 pounds 15 oz though we are pretty sure that with how much you pooped on us, you were born over 9 pounds.

Within 24 hours we had not left you alone with anyone. Every time they came to pick you up, I put on shoes and went with them. When you were a bit over 1 day old, they had been tracking your blood sugars and they had not balanced. So they did some blood tests and it was decided that they would be keeping you for awhile. The doctors think that you had an infection in your blood and worked to bring it down.
We gave you a bath on the 23rd and you have been doing little more than eating and sleeping, but we want you to get feeling better so we are doing all we can to make sure that you are good.

The first time someone watched you without your mom and I was on 10/23/15 when your mom and I had to go check into the hospital as a "hotel stay"since your mom was discharged as a patient as she was doing OK. On that night you were also moved to the nursery for the first time so your mom and I could sleep. I had been sleeping for hours and your mom felt that it was better for you to stay there for a few hours. On the morning of 10/25/15 when your doctor came in we were delighted to hear that we could bring you home. The hardest part of the last few days was not knowing when you would be able to come home, so this was great news. We left the hospital parking lot at 2:47 pm on 10/25/15. Yesterday you had your first 2 elevator rides. and got to meet your Zia Mary, and Granny, as well as seeing some of your family that you had already met like your Pompa, Grandma Judy, Grandpa, and Ama.

It is great to be home. and we are so happy to have you home and here. Moving forward I will be writing on the blog I have set up for you. Welcome to the world son. I cannot tell you how much your mom and I love you and we will do everything we can do to make sure you are taken care of and happy when we can. It is a beautiful place, and I am excited to be with you when you begin to explore it.

your blog can be found here and I have encouraged family to subscribe to it ans I will not be posting it all over so if people follow it they will see it but if not, they won't

http://punchystory.blogspot.com/

Love you
Dad

Day 1 a transformation

Sean

It is now 6:30 and your mom is taking a shower while I am waxing introspective on the cycle of birth, and the changing from one stage of life to another. It is strange to think that in a short amount of time I will be a father, whether I am ready to be or not. This is a big change as my life is no longer only mine alone but also, for a time as a role model and support for you and your mother. The only such transformation I have been through before was that of being married, where in one moment you move from being a single person to a part of a couple, to something more than that, a couple for life. When you get married you are saying that you choose that person for now, but also for always. Things may change that, but that is the idea when you marry. 

Fatherhood is something different. It is not having a child then at some time if things are not working out leaving them. Like it or not, I am your father for life. You may not agree with me on everything, we may clash on ideas at times and not always see eye to eye. It is possible that you may have inherited my or your mothers stubbornness, and as such we may have times when we clash and there is no solution but to let things lie, but regardless of all of that, you are my son, Always know that and always remember that. 

In looking for answers tonight about the transition from one state to another I thought to consult the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran  on children he says: 

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." 

And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."

No, you are not my son, but you come from me, and that will always be a part of you. I can only hope that it is something that gives you pride, and one day you understand that I did for you the best I could with what I had and understood at the time. I may not always be perfect and I may do some things that embarass you or you think are unfair. Please know that my intention is to do for you the best I can, and that in my heart I will raise you the best I am able.

Tonight, as I watch the setting sun, I realize that it is the end of my life before fatherhood, and within the next day or so begins the new life as a father. I am proud to be yours. 

Love you

-Dad

Day 2 Changing the world.

Punchy,

You are now 2 days from your due date, though we keep telling you that whenever you are ready we are excited to meet you and are ready to see your face.

Today's blog did not start out as a one to you but as one that was all about what I am teaching in sword class this week, (Unless you are born late in the week, then I may have someone else teach it so I can be there with mom and once you are born, you.) As such, the lesson was about clearing an opponents sword line and how to do that, but I may finish and publish that one later.

In thinking about sword lines I realized that to me, there are 2 ways to change your circumstances, view or the world. The first is to do something active that changes it, the other is to change your perspective so that you can see it differently. In sword, I would call this forcing your opponents weapon to move (feints, or physically moving it) or to move yourself around them. What does each mean? How do you do each?

Doing something that changes the world is probably the most common thing that people focus on in life when things need to be changed. If you do not like where the couch is, you physically move it, or have someone else move it. If you do not like the way a law is written, you can write letters to those who make the laws, protest, or vote for someone else who supports your opinion, or possibly even get elected yourself. This approach is centered around my way, or my opinion is the right one, and the other is wrong. In sword this would be akin to feints or physically moving your opponents weapon so you have cleared their line. It is active, but there is a bit of stubbornness to it. What if you feel like things have to be a particular way, and no one else agrees? Do you then force everyone else to agree? In this case I would argue that you force it, or make them change their opinion. but at the end of the day, you get your way.

There is a second way. I would say that this one is not as active and forceful but more passive and that is to change yourself and your perspective. It could be argued that this can be a way of giving up, and though it may be, it is not  always the case. This second way is all about changing your perspective, so in sword I would say this is similar to taking steps to the side so you are changing your line from your opponents. In that case, your literal perspective is changing from being in direct opposition to your opponents.

These 2 can be summed up in the phrases, Changing the world or changing yourself.

Neither one is distinctly right or wrong, but both can be relevant in particular situations. Say you get a job at a place that is going to require you to work weekends and you do not want to. In this situation you can work with management to change the policy, (Change the world) or you can quit, or stick with it but look for the good in that. (change yourself) Neither one is right or wrong, but it depends on the situation. In the case of your birth, I am getting anxious and want you to be here. But there is nothing I can physically do to make that happen. So my choice is to be grumpy about it, or change myself to be OK with it happening when it happens. You have control of your life, but sometimes things show up that require you to look at life differently.

Again, say you are working somewhere and you are written up for not doing something you do not feel comfortable with. You can take this 2 ways the world is against you, or this is an opportunity to learn how to do this better. You may push back and work to fight the rule, have it changed since this was unfair to you, (Change the world) or look at it as an opportunity (change yourself). I have been out of work from my real job 75 days. Tomorrow is my hearing for my termination. I am going into it giving it what I can but knowing that it may or may not be successful that it is overturned. The appeal, is changing the world. If it is not successful, then I can be a victim of it, or look at it as an opportunity to find something that will be better for me (change myself).

The key is to balance those 2 things. When your way is the only right way, it is easy to be a victim when things do not go that way. That does not mean it is never worth it to fight for your views, but know that sometimes the best way out of being a victim is to change your thinking about it. If you find that someone is not doing what you want them to, you get to choose how respond and the truth is at the end of the day, that it is that choice that really makes you free. Sometime you can't make that choice, but you are always in charge of your perspective about what you are going to with what is before you, and that is how you will change the world.

-Dad

3 days, A bright future

Sean William,
By our count you are 3 days from us, though it could be any day now. We have been talking to you and letting you know that we are ready, but just as soon as you are ready. we are excited to see you.

Moving forward, I am going to be moving your blog to a a new place where I can talk about milestones, things that are going on with us, Hopefully things that you may wonder about one day and I can answer in writing about them now. It may not be big things all the time but just some observations, maybe what you are doing, little notes to you, a kind of assessment of what is happening in our lives, or the world at large.

I do not have the new one set up yet but I will today, just in time for you to get here? (Maybe?)

Yesterday was my first day of teaching class and it was a fun one. We talked about how class was going to go moving forward and my plans for things. It was a good class and I feel like things are going to be awesome moving forward. We also had a game night last night, so we had some friends over. It was a great night and we stayed up well into the night talking and playing games. It is something I really enjoy doing.

I don't have anything inspirational to say today but soon, maybe you and I can have some bonding time.

Today is our last baby shower for you, but this one is also for your cousin Anabelle it should be a great time, and we would love to go, unless you decide to come before then.

This week I have to defend my case for what is wrong with my termination at the U. An interview with Intermountain Healthcare, and possibly another one. Again all of it is dependant on when you decide to be born as I have let everyone know that if you decide it is time, I will cancel anything I need to so I can be there with you and your mom. There are other things that are important but to me, there is nothing more important than to be there when you are born and I will do everything I can to be there, catch you when you come out, clamp your cord, and spend as much time with you as possible until I get a new job.

We are ready whenever you are and we will be waiting for you, just excited for when that day comes.
-Dad

8 Days: make them play your game

Son, (And anyone else who may be reading this.)


Make them play YOUR game

In any match or bout the key is to make your opponent play on your terms, but how do you do that?

There are, in my estimation, 3 ways to do this.  Constantly attacking, being passively aggressive and being primarily defensive.

Aggressive: The first way to make them play your game is to be aggressive, that is to say pressing your opponent with attacks constantly until his defense fails him.  If you take the Vor, he has to take the Nach. If you are constantly pressing, your opponent has to either defend themselves, or do something else to counter your attacks. The challenge with this is that if your attacks are predictable as in you throw the same cuts in the same order with the same timing, it is easy to pick up on it and know just when and what you are doing. If you only press with 2 or 3 things then break they may see this pattern, wait for you to break, and then counter attack. So for this to be truly successful you have to press your attacks constantly without relenting.

Passive Aggressive: The second way is for you to lie in wait for their openings before you attack. The passive aggressive fighter allows their opponent to attack and then relies on counters to those attacks to successfully land their blows. They know that if you attack with a particular attack this is the way to counter that so simply parry the attacks and riposte to take the initiative and land their blows. They are frustrating to fight as they study the ways to counter an attack and simply use it to their advantage. The major disadvantage to this style of fighting is that if they do not know or feel comfortable with something or their defense is not good, they can easily be overwhelmed if your attacks are solid and not predictable.

Defensive: Defensive fighters are less likely to use counters as much as simply defend the strike, or in some way get out of the situation. They are looking for an opening, something they can take advantage of but know that you cannot win unless you cover that distance. They are patient, and willing to defend themselves as often as they need so they can get the right opening, at the right time for what they want to do. Defensive does not mean that you take all attacks with back steps, some of the best steps you can take are forward with the defense, but if one is entirely defensive you never win completely, so eventually you have to be aggressive in one way or another.

No good fighter fights just one way all the time, a successful fighter combines a bit about each in some way, and knows when to attack, when to defend and when to set a trap for their opponent to hide their true intent. The key however is to make your opponent do what you want them do to. Retreating so they have to close distance to attack you is making them play your game. Holding a particular guard so they attack what you have open is a way to make them play your game. Feinting to something and watching their response to your attack is a way of making them play your game.  Even attacking the same place 3 or 4 or 5 times so they think you are just going to do the same thing over and over then switching it so they block an attack that is not coming and giving you the opening you want is a way of making your opponent play your game. All of them are useful but each has the right time and place, it is up to you to learn when that is for you, and decide just how you will use that information to make them play the game how you want them to play it.

-Dad

9 days: SMART Goals, Kind of

Son, 

There is a school of thought that all goals need to be "S.M.A.R.T." that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and trackable/or timely. While I agree with the sentiment, I knock it down to 3 because I feel like it is redundant for the sake of being a pretty acronym. So the steps as I see them:

S Simple, Specific- If a goal is not specific how can you measure it? The question is how do you know you have arrived there? To that end a SMART goal is not: I want to do better at sword and buckler but rather I want to get to a place where most matches, I can score on my opponent at least 4 times.

M Measurable- Just like specific, this one is all about how do you know you got there? In this way a goal of saying that you can run a mile is measurable. One of you can just run more could be if you define where you are so you can see improvement, but I want to run a lot or do a bunch of drills is not unless you define what that means FOR YOU.

T Trackable/timely- This is really a subset of measurable, but it is a question of a smaller timeline. How can you prove to yourself that you are making progress? Timely is fine, but that really falls into the next category.

A Attainable and Realistic- If you set a goal to be the best sword fighter in class by your next competition and this is your 2^nd month of practice, that may be a stretch, unless you ahve a very bad class. Attainable and Realistic are a good question of "Is this goal realistic for me given my time and energy I am willing to devote to this?" If you are willing to go to the gym 5 hours a day, getting to a point that you look like an Olympic weight lifter is not out of the question on a long enough timeline. If you are only willing to give it an hour a day, this will take longer. Asking "What am I willing to do to get there?" is huge here. What are your resources, what will it take to do that, and are you willing to do what you have to in order to reach it? Timeliness comes into play here as well. "Is this reasonable in the time I am giving it?" If you can be honest and realize it is not there is nothing wrong with changing the timeline just be honest about it. 

Example:

I want to reach a point with Sword and buckler that I can score on most of my opponents 4 times in a match.

Is it Specific? As long as you can define most as more than 50% it is. Is it simple? Yes.

Measurable and Trackable? Yes as long as you are to a point that you can track it eventually and know when you have gotten there. If today you can only score once and in 3 weeks you can consistently score 2 that is something you can track. but if you are not tracking it how do you know you have arrived? 

Attainable and Realistic? This depends on your time frame, and willingness to give it your time to study and practice. If you pick up a sword and buckler 1 time in the next 6 months, but your experience is limited, before and during that time, I would say no, it is not realistic that you are suddenly going to be able to be the best just because you thought about it. If you are willing to be discouraged, have to work hard and know that sometimes you will lose getting there, then yes it is both.

One more thing is to realize that at times you may fail on the way to getting there.  If you are not willing to stick with it do not be surprised if you never reach that goal. In the example of sword and buckler, if you are not willing to stick with it, lose a lot initially, and then use that experience to improve, then it is not a good goal for you. You have to be willing to fall on your face in pursuit of your goals, but that is the only way you get better. If you are only practicing with people who you have no problem beating, you may not be the best, but rather you are a big fish in a little pond and it is time to move on to something bigger where you are actually challenged. If you have a trick that always works with people who know you but does not with those who don't then it is only a trick to those who know you, teach them how to beat it so you are not relying on it. 

Lastly, be willing to tell people your goals and surround yourself with find people who will keep you accountable. A practice partner that lets you get away with sloppy technique and only doing half your speed or skill is not your friend, they are doing you no favors by letting you get away with it. You may be the best of friends outside of practice, but they are not a good training partner for you. The best partners I have had both in terms of sword and out are the ones who push me to do better. Often that means kicking my butt so I know what I need to work on. In that way your greatest friends, are those who are willing to call you on your crap, and who are your hardest opponents inside the ring. If they say they want to practice or reach a goal and then do nothing to reach it, call them on it. If you do the same, be willing to be called out on it. Accountability is not a bad word, and those people who are not willing to keep you to your word are doing you no favors, even if they think they are. 

-Dad

My class: 10 days and counting What is my teaching about?

Punchy,
You are about 10 days from us, but you are welcome any time you get here. Your Stephenson grandparents came by today and we were able to show them your stroller and your room, and the co sleeper.

In today's blog I am going to talk a bit about what
What do I want my class to be?
I feel that my class should be a place where we teach the art, but also develop the person. The art is important, but what we are about is larger than that. If someone wants to become a leader, it should be my job to help them do so. If they want to train to be on a bigger stage, I should be willing to do what I can. If I feel someone is acting out of integrity by not calling shots it is my job to call them on it. I want students who I know whether I am there or not things go on as they should and if they leave or move away as has happened from time to time, I feel that I have given them the tools to continue their study some place else.

This art, like any other art, is about having the tools in your toolbox so you know what to do when you need to. I do not have all the answers to these questions as I am not a master swordsman, but I do know where to look to find answers or to point you in the right direction to find them. We may train 100 things, and you find that when you are sparring you only use 5 of them directly. It is my job to make sure you know all of them and feel comfortable enough with them that if you see an opening to you know what to do without hesitation, or if you want to create an opening you know how to do that too.

So what does a week of our class look like?
We begin each class stretching out doing and some basic drills. these are done to warm up and get ready for class, Then we will cover the big idea of the day. We will talk about the big idea and teach or work on a technique around that idea. Then we will play games or free play around the idea. Finally we will do some free sparring or other games not attached to the drill to work on implementing the idea. It is pretty basic, but I feel like it develops things at a good pace. If too much is covered in a week than retention is not as good. To that end, each week will have a theme, and each set of drills will be a variation around that theme or big idea.

This is my plan. I can;t say it is a great one or something I will stick with, but it is a start.
I am not sure this will matter to you or anyone eventually. but it is what is on my mind right now so better to write it down for you, and for those who will be my students now and one day in the future.

Love you kid.
Dad

Day 11 Competition, and some big news for me.

Sean,
You will be proud of your dad I think. I just got home from our second competition of the year in our local class. All told we had 26 fighters including several from True Edge Academy, Noble Sciences school in Reno, and our class. It was a beautiful day and though it took a while to get started because of a race going on at the park, we got things going pretty well.

I took second place, where I fought in the final match with steel against Jeremy. He is a great fighter and I love fighting him and it was our first match of the day that really dropped me for points in my matches. so it was awesome to cross steel with him again in the final. I am incredibly excited and feel like I did pretty well today and I really feel like I got many of my competitors playing my game, so I got to make a lot of it go the way I wanted. I still took a lot of hits, but I feel like I was relaxed and really on my game today and it showed in my placing.

After competition though we had another huge announcement. My Instructor Travis, who has been my instructor for years now, not only gave me the rank of instructor, but also the running of our regular Saturday class. It is something I have been working hard on for the last few years. We had talked about me stepping into an instructor role, but this was a huge thing for me and for class. It is a big change, but not something I am feeling unprepared for. It is a big thing to me and I am not starting with a class of a few people but am really starting with a class that has some good fighters and loads of fighters who I feel can become better with a little push. This is huge and it will take me a bit to figure a few things out, but I feel like I am ready. I am not sure what all it means, but I am sure that it is awesome and I know I will work it out.

It has been a great day.

Love you kid and will see you soon,
Dad

18 Days: An introduction to your birth plan.

Punchy,
I know I have missed a lot of days of in writing. Today was another baby shower for you, but this time it was my sword class' turn. We are a week from my next sword competition. What has struck me over all of the baby showers is how excited everyone is to have you get here. Yesterday your stroller and car seat arrived. As far as many things go, we have everything we really need for you to get here, so now we wait.

The Doctors say you can be born any time between 38 and 42 weeks as I understand it. You will be at 38 weeks on Thursday. At this point, if it was time for you to get here and your mom started to go into labor, they would not stop it.

For your birth plan, we are planning on a natural birth. We are going to do all we can unassisted. When you are born, our midwife is going to help ease you out then I am going to catch you. I will be putting you on your moms chest. and when the umbilical cord stops giving you the extra blood, I will clamp and cut it. The hospital has a suggestion that we have what they call the golden hour, so for the first hour we will be with you alone. Then we will tell everyone else you have been born. They are excited, and we are too. As much as possible we will do what we can to bring you into the world in a way that we feel makes the most sense and that your mom feels the most comfortable with.

I am not sure when you will be born, but I am excited for you to be here, and from those who have been showing up at the showers we are all happy for you to be with us soon out here. It is not going to be easy. Truth be told, it will be the hardest thing you will deal with in your life. But you have to go through it to be able to move on to the next step. That is a part of life. I am now at just under 2 months since I lost my job. It has not been easy, but sometimes life will hand you something and test your meddle. Next weekend is our next competition, nothing by far compared to you being born, but it will be a test of how I have been progressing. It is, as much as anything else a test, one I have chosen but one that the only way to the other side being through.

Tests are necessary, they show us what we are made of, and how much we have grown, what we have learned. You will be facing some big ones in the next few weeks and months and years. You will try, and fail at some things but you will get up and try them again. When you start walking, you will fall down at first, even several times, but you will have to pick yourself up and keep going. Life is not always easy, I can only imagine that Birth is going to be hard on you, but you will get through you.
You are strong, and I am excited for you to have the chance to prove it to yourself, and the rest of us waiting to meet you.

Love you Kiddo.
-Dad