Tuesday, March 24, 2015

What am I willing to do to get there?

I have been thinking quite a bit about  about goals lately. Both for myself, for helping others, and in general and have come to an interesting conclusion. Goals become a question of them being attainable, and what are you willing to do to get there?

Every year my Sword group holds 2 group competitions. They are a fun time and definitely something I enjoy doing. Here is the thing, as much as I feel like I am pretty good, and should place in the top half of the class, I don't always do so.

Why not?
 I train as often as other people in class, I always intend to work outside of class, why am I not doing better?

You want to know a secret?
Plainly put I don't want it bad enough. (Man, that sucks to say out loud.)

I am realizing something. It does not matter how bad I want it. It does not matter if I spend everyday thinking about it and hoping that somehow I will get better. If I am not willing to put some skin in the game, I wont get there. I can let my limitations keep me where I am and be mad that I am not getting better, or I can decide to do something about it and get there.

There is good news and bad news in this. The good news is that if I am willing to put time into it, I will improve. The bad news is if I am not willing to do anything differently but complain about how bad it sucks that I can't do anything about it, it ought to fall of deaf ears. If I am not willing to put the time and effort in it, should I be surprised when the results are exactly the same? Nope.

So where do we go from here?
Goals are great, they give us something to shoot for. In that I have 2 choices. Do something to get there, figure out my priorities and do it, OR change the goal to something that meets what I am willing to give up. That is it.

Mad that I am not placing high in competition?
I can either train harder than the next guy and work to improve, or I can be ok with where I am and realize that I will get better but not at a rate that I want to. That is it. Those are the 2 options period.

2 years ago I was mad that I could not make it to any events within the HEMA community. It really sucks when some things are really expensive and your income is limited. Using this model I had 2 options. Shut up and work for it, or continue to complain but realize that complaining was getting me no closer to the goal. Within that spectrum, there are some choices. In this case I went to something that was as close to me as I could find. This year it may be 2 or 3 that are closer, Maybe even do something here. But I have no room to complain when I am not willing to work for it.

Here is another example from my Heavy Athletics experience. I am not a good thrower. The first year I went to practices, and did try to go to events. I wanted to get better, but to be perfectly honest, I was not willing to put the time in to improve. As a result other people moved ahead of me, Other people who were brand new moved ahead of me, I was not willing to put in the time and effort to get there so I shouldn't have been surprised when my results were consistent but showed no real marked changes. I could be mad about it, I could be frustrated, but the point is if I am not willing to do things to get where I say I want to go, it should be no surprise if I do not get there.

Priorities. The name of the game is making priorities and following through.
With throwing it comes down to this: I was not willing to go to every event that I could because I had things that held a higher priority. I skipped a throwing practice to be at sword because I had a sword event coming up.  I skipped events because I had other things going on that were more important to me that I attend, or sometimes, a different role at the same one. Was it any surprise that I did not just magically get better? It shouldn't be.

I will be honest. I will support anyone that has goals if they are willing to do what it will take to get there. In my fencing class every week I give the students homework, 3 minute drills on nothing but footwork. Every week, I ask them who did their homework, sometimes I see new hands, other weeks it is the same people saying they did it. Of course, they all could lie and say they did it, but what I am find interesting is that the people who tell me they are doing it, don't even have to tell me anymore, I can see it in how they are improving.

Is it OK not to drop everything to reach that goal? Sure it is. This year I am cutting back how many Highland Games events I am going to be participating in because there are other things that fall higher on my list. That is OK the key is to not get mad when I am not improving as much as those who are training more. Do I expect to get first place at everything I do when I am not willing to put the time in to improve? If I do, I am setting myself up for failure.

Some people may have natural talents but the point is what am I willing to do to keep up with them? Is it a night to watch TV then complain that I only trained 2 days this week instead of 3? It is my choice. If my goal is really to get better, that means that despite wanting to watch my show on TV tonight I may have to give it up since my goal places higher on my priority list.

At the end of the day it comes down to this.
If I want to get better, I am going to have to put the time in to get there. If not, it is time to realize that it is OK if I am not willing to put in the time, just as long as I realize that progress may not be as quick as it would if I were willing to do so. I can miss a lot of parties, or spend a lot of evenings alone if my only goal is to get better with a sword in my hand, the key is to decide what matters, and to be OK letting everything else go, knowing that in doing it, I am choosing just how quickly or easily I reach my goals. There is no right or wrong speed, I may never reach it if I am not willing to put the time into it. But I am always at choice about the results, I can be mad for not doing anything to get better and then work to improve, or I can be OK with what I am doing and realize that I will not win Gold in the Olympics fencing if I am not willing to put some time into working to get there.

It is all my choice, but I do not get to whine about the results of those choices anymore.