Combat Con until we meet again.

What is there to say that I haven't already said or put into words somewhere else? How do I say farewell to an event and place that has taught me so much. This is my 10th Combat Con and as far as I can figure my 5th teaching. 

When I first attended Combat Con on my 33rd birthday I was entitled, whiny, I wanted things to happen without working to make them so. 

In the time since then I have grown up as it were. Didn't win more matches? Roll with it. Feel strongly something needs to be done? Work on it, make it happen. I began so much in what my wife calls my put up or shut up moment here at Combat Con. I teach other places, but this one holds a special place in my heart, I have competed and done well other places but this is where the rubber first embraced the road in what was a rough start. 

We have come so far together. Last night I performed a wedding ceremony for some dear friends here at combat con. 

This is not good bye, at least not forever. Combat Con has become a part of us, and it is in that, that it will live on for as long as we remember and talk about it. 

When you have read a book, and it is ended that is the story. You may return to revisit but the story lives on inside you now. This is what Combat Con is. 

It lives on in our friendships and the growth we made over the years. We have become a part of it and it a part of us, now and forever more. 

We may cry or find it hard at times, but it doesn't end here, because combat con isn't a place, it is the people who have made it happen both in organizing and attending. 

So this is not good bye. As Richard Bach once said

What the catapillar calls the end, the master calls a butterfly. 

My 10 years of Combat Con.

 "For years there were excuses.

I can't because of... distance, time, money, reasons.
That ended a little bit ago when my wife said that if I wanted to go to Combat Con 2014 for my birthday weekend that we would figure out how to make it happen. Sometimes that is all it takes."

That was, where it all began, for years I had sat behind a keyboard complaining about how it was not fair that everyone else in the community got to go to events and I never had. I complained about the costs for it, the costs for equipment, the costs to go to do something outside of my local area. I was, in many ways whiny and to be honest I can imagine looking back at it now I was rather annoying. 

Then in June of 2014 I did something that I feel like changed my life for the better. Moving from the idea of "I can't" to "how can I" I attended my first large HEMA event at Combat Con 2014. That experience changed my life. I met friends I consider family in many ways at that event and over the years at other events. But more than all of that, Combat Con made me realize that though I was not always sure how I would make things work, if I put my mind to it I could do and accomplish great things. 

The following year, they had added a cutting qualifier to the steel tournaments and as I had never cut with a sharp sword I failed it. Bound and determined to do better I applied myself where I was put and though it did not go as well as I had wanted, I showed up and gave it my best. 

The next time I was there and attempted it, and having put in the work, practice and focus I passed. 

Combat Con has been a home where I could teach classes that I enjoy teaching  whether or not they are "HEMA Specific" and some of my more popular classes where we work with different things people do not always have experience working with. 

Combat Con was the place where after crashing my motorcycle I decided that when I was there again I would passed my HEMA Alliance Instructor certification. 

I have been teaching at the event for years now, and even when I feel like I do not always have the most to bring to the table, people show up to hear what it is that I do I have to say, whether that is a class on Rule #1 Don't die, or Getting the things in our lives that we really want, or good old fashioned how to beat someone with a pole hammer. Combat Con has been a home for me and more than that it has been a place where I could learn and grow and get better at doing the things I love doing. 

In 2022, I won my first medal at an event that was not local at Combat Con and though it was only a bronze the cheers from the crowd when I won, and the support of the community I felt when it happened are like nothing I have ever felt. To my community, to my friends, to the people who supported me, it was a proud moment whether they had much to do with me winning or not.

I have laughed, and cried in both joy and sorrow at this event. Been proud of myself, and had people I respect and love tell me they are proud of me. I have stayed out until the sun came up, and in the last few years, spent time with some of my favorite people and went to bed at a reasonable hour because "I have to fight in the morning"  

This year, my last class is going to be an interesting one. I am teaching how to be strong by being weak. None of my classes, or at least none of my favorites, stand alone as "only a sword class" it is not how I am built. Rule #1 is about not dying but what I talk about there is rather than focusing on not dying, do what you can to be safe and live intentionally, in all you do in and out of sword. 

Being strong by being weak has a part to it that is using good body mechanics to give the strong man a different direction to channel that strength, but again, I can't just write a "Sword" class. Being strong by being weak means sometimes it is ok to be sad. Sometimes it is ok to feel your feelings and let that be alright. We may be doing difficult things but its ok sometimes to take a moment to breathe and take care of ourselves. If there is a final message that I have to give to the community of Combat Con, it is that. It is ok to feel sad that things are going away and we will never have those moments again, it is also ok to dance like you are dressed like a 16th century monarch with reckless abandon because as much as we want to hold tightly to those things, they too shall pass. All we can do is our best, make the memories and take the pictures we remember to take and remember that we are a family not of flesh and blood but of common cause and care. And though we may find ourselves miles away from each other it is that camaraderie that binds us. 

Combat Con has changed my life for the better and I am grateful for all the time and effort put into it for all the years. I also know that acorns do not grow in the shade of the mighty oak, and it is ok to let it go, because for a time we had this place, and it will live forever within us, and that is a gift that no one can ever take away. 

Thinking makes it so: Resiliency in tournament practice

Thinking makes it so: Resiliency in HEMA practice

Jordan Hinckley

When focusing on resiliency there are 3 aspects that we must take into consideration. The first is how do we mentally prepare for the stress of competition? The second is how do we keep our focus in the midst of that stress? The last is simply how do we assess our performance afterward in a way to keep moving forward? All three of these are connected as one feeds into the next in a circular fashion. We can think of these three as the Future, Present and Past.

 In this class we will look at all 3 aspects and look at some ways in which we can control the things within our control and as a whole connect these 3 parts in our regular training and practice. 

Future: Why do I compete? 

You are in the middle of a match, those stupid judges didn’t see the last three hits you landed on your opponent, your pulse is high, you can’t focus, “I can win this,” you think, but you cannot let go of the fact that last exchange you hit them 3 times and not one of those was counted by those dumb judges. Are the judges blind? What is wrong with them? Why didn’t the other guy acknowledge it? The director calls resume and physically you are present but can’t let the last 3 exchanges go mentally. You can’t let go of the idea that they are up by several points and you know you only have a few exchanges left if you want to win and time is running out. Your will to push harder is all but gone. Another point is called for your opponent, and with it, the last exchange. You walk away from the ring frustrated and mad at the judges, mad at yourself, and mad at the person who just beat you. 

Let’s face it, the reality of competition is that it can be a potentially stressful situation, so why do we do it? To win shiny things? To win accolades from friends, family, and those in the community whom we respect? Or is it something deeper like to trying out a technique we have been working on in class in a stress testing situation to see if we can make it work when the opportunity presents itself. Maybe we do it for fun, and love of the challenge of it all.

What is within your control?

Unpacking the reasons why we compete or why we practice, we must define what is within our control and what is not. 

We cannot control if we win a medal or not, we cannot control what the judges see, we cannot control who our opponent is, and we cannot directly control their actions.  

If succeeding at a tournament is a question of if you won a medal or not, in a field of 64 fighters, at best, only 4 will go home with a medal hanging on their necks from winning that tournament. Effectively what that means is that 7 or 8 percent of fighters will “succeed” and the other 92%-93% will by that same metric, fail. 

We cannot control what the judges see.  I always tell my students to assume that the judges are biased against you, because if you set out to make every exchange clean, regardless of the points scored, for or against you, you are fencing safely, and this must be our primary objective.

We cannot control who is in our pool, if we make it to eliminations, or what bracket we will be fighting in. We cannot control who is in our class and wants to spar with us but what we can control is how we personally face everyone whom we interact with. 

We cannot control the perceptions of others, even if we win big, there may be people who give us little or no respect for it. Alternatively, there may be people who believe that they were robbed because in their minds they can beat us, and as such they are more deserving of a medal or a big win than we are. 

We cannot control anyone else, but what we can control are our personal actions and how we present ourselves regardless of how it is viewed by others.  

The only thing within our control is what is inside us. How we are mentally and physically prepared, if we are giving our best, and are we fully present in the moment during this match. We owe it to ourselves to give the best we have in this moment. That is not to say the best we may ever have, or the best we can do tomorrow, it means flaws and all, we are compassionate to where we are today. We may be tired, have a headache, or just not feeling at the top of our game and that is ok. Doing our best today means despite this, we are giving it the best we can at this moment. It may not mean we will win but we can be comforted in knowing that we have given the best we are capable at the moment.

We can control our actions in a given situation. If we have been working hard on a technique for a while and the opportunity presents itself to use it, do we have the presence of mind to see it and to act on it?

When I have students who are setting goals for competition one thing that we focus on is realistic goals that are achievable. In a field of 10 of the top fighters in the world, I am not likely to win 1st place, but I can give them my best, fight as hard as I can, with all I have, and make it so that they had to work to win the match.

Writing Prompt: 

• Why do you compete/practice? What you are doing or plan to do?

• What factors of your why are always within your control?

• How do you measure success or failure to that metric?

Present: How do I bring myself back to my goal?

It is the middle of a match, you are not sure what the score is, but you feel like you are on the top of your game today. You just hit your opponent, which the judges didn’t see, and your opponent shortly after scored a point which they did. You are on the edge of the ring, you come back to focus, the director resumes the match and in a moment of calm you walk back into the ring ready to give it your best. 

If we begin with why we compete, the next thing we can ask is how do we bring ourselves back to that purpose when tension is high, adrenaline is pumping, and we feel like we are doing our best just to keep it all together. The simplest thing is a short mantra to bring us back to focus. This doesn’t need to be a paragraph; the reality is the simpler we can make it the better, because we can think it and remember it easily. Even something as easy as “I’ve got this”,  “This is the way”, “Keep doing my best”, “Be here now” or in the case when things went in a direction you had not expected, “So what?” 

In the middle of the match, we do not have time to think long drawn-out mantras to become present, we do not have time to assess everything that is going on in depth, but what we do have time for is to come back to our goal and focus. 

Unfortunately, many of us take the same time to get discouraged by mental scorekeeping, or being mad at the judges for failing to see something we feel we did well. In the short pauses between exchanges there are 2 things we can do easily. The first is to come back to our focus, the second is to get clear about what is happening and what we need to do in order to keep moving forward. Maybe everything is going well, you are meeting their way of fighting with your own and it is working. Awesome, come back to the present, keep your cool, and keep going. This is also a time when a corner coach can help you keep that focus or remind you of your goal. 

Another way we can deal with stressful situations is to go back to our breathing, this may as simple as a few deep breaths in and out, or as complicated as box breathing which consists of breathing in to a count of 5, holding for a count of 5, breathing out for a count of 5, then staying empty for a count of 5. The number of counts does not matter as long as they are the same, but the idea is to breathe in, hold it, breathe out, and hold that before beginning again. The idea of focusing on the breath is one that is used in many places but it is a way of becoming present to this moment and back to right now where you can focus on what is at hand in front of you. 

One thing I like to use is the idea of “So What” because it allows me to have the power to decide how I want to move forward. The question of “So What” can be helpful because all we are asking is what meaning a particular thing has. What does it matter if they hit me in the last exchange? What does it matter if the judges did or did not see something I am doing? Am I trying to impress them? Can I impress anyone else since they are out of my control? Am I giving things the best I have today? 

Writing prompt:

In the middle of the match what is something you can think that will bring you back to your goal? 

What is something that you can think of or recite in the moment to bring you back to the present? 

Past: Assessment of how things went, how to move forward.

In reviewing how a match, or tournament went it is easy enough if you do not feel like you did as well as you had wanted to get stuck in the mindset of “I failed, I am no good at this, maybe I should give up” While this can be a natural effect of things going in a way that you had not hoped or expected, I would suggest a different path. In looking at your performance ask yourself “Did I control the things within my control? Was I able to focus on the task at hand when it happened? Was I flexible enough with changing circumstances to adapt when I needed to? Lastly, and most importantly, did I succeed in accomplishing my objectives whatever they were?

Maybe your why was in pressure testing a technique. Was this something you had an opportunity to do and did so? If your why was just to have some fun sparring with some people you do not get to spar regularly, or make new friends, were you able to do that? What did you do well and you want to continue? What did you do less than you wanted and would like to improve on? In the assessment phase it is easy enough to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I once had an experience when I did not do as well as I had wanted in a tournament and I told my wife I was going to build a completely new training regimen. She asked me what I felt had gone well. 

Instead of building a whole new training program from scratch, the better solution was to ask myself what was I currently doing to make the things that had gone well work, and what did I need to add to it in order to improve in other areas. What I had wrong was the idea that I needed to tear everything apart and build it all over from scratch. Sure, some things needed work but some things were in fact working and I needed to acknowledge those things and if possible, keep up with those as they were working well. Did I need to supplement things? Absolutely, but supplementation is not a wholesale replacement for no other reason than being discouraged at a single factor of my performance. 

The assessment phase is where we can look at how we did in retrospect, and decide the way forward. Did your mantras keep you present in the fight? If not, do they need to be modified?  Were you able to see things clearly? Did your focus stay on the present when the match was going on? Were you able to remember your why and keep it at the forefront of your mind as you faced your challenges?

Writing prompt:

What about your tournament performance do you feel good about? 

What about your performance do you feel could use improvement?

Does this change your Why?

What is your plan to move forward and work on the things that need to be improved on? 

Conclusion

Scenario

You are in the middle of a match; your mind is calm and focused. You are fully present right where you are. Win or lose you are having a great time fighting someone who is giving you a challenge. If pressed, you can think of exchanges that were really cool, but most of all, you are having fun being here doing something you enjoy doing. Sure, the judges did not see that cool thing that you just did, but they are people doing the best they can so you cut them some slack and intend to make the next exchange cleaner so they can see it more plainly. You do not know the score, but for you, right now, it doesn’t matter, this is fun, and you are having the time of your life. The table calls match and you go to shake the hand of your new friend. Win or lose, it does not matter, because you have had an opportunity to fence with someone to whom you gave your best because they, and you, deserve nothing less. 

Resiliency is not about the other person, it is not about forcing the judges to see something, it is not about medals or accolades. What it is about, is controlling the things in your power to control and doing your best today, right now, in this moment. We can lose a match and still be undefeated as a person. The things in our control are how we respond to the things that happen around us, and therein lies our true power. 

Combat Con 2022 A golden Bronze weekend.

I have started this blog a dozen times. 

It is not enough to simply have a goal in mind, to get where you want to be in life you have to take steps, even if they are stumbling, awkward steps towards your goal. 

Yesterday, I won my first Longsword medal out of our local tournaments, and it happened where for me, a lot of my story began 8 years ago. My journey has not been as quick or easy as some, and has had some moments where I stumbled, times that I gave it my all, and still came up short. 

It all began at Combat Con. 

Before I came here, I was full of excuses, reasons I couldn't train hard, I could not push myself, reasons why I could not grow or do more. 

I came here for  my 33rd birthday, 8 years ago. Getting in my car for that first trip, I realized that things had changed in my mentality from "I can't" to "How Can I?". The difference between the two sounds pedantic but that little shift from impossible, to how can it make it possible, is a mental change that makes a difference. 

It was this place that I finally did my instructor certification, which in a lot of ways to me said, not only do I feel like I know what I know but others see that and believe I do to. 

It was coming back from this place that I had an accident that, though it was hard, made me realize the strength of my own will and how grateful I was to be alive and what a gift that was. 

In so many ways this has been a home for me, and it is only appropriate that it is here that Crying ugly tears I won my first medal in a tournament away from the ones that are our locals. 

In that first blog 8 years ago I said that Combat Con was about community but after these years, and after all this time, the hundreds of ups and downs, the crazy stories, and nights that have gone on forever, to me I have found that I have a home away from home. 

Yesterday I won a medal, it was not the one I have been working for but it was a start, and after my win, when a crowd of people descended on me and I had a thousand tearful hugs I realized that I have bult around me a family not of blood but of steel, I have found people that though I do not see and talk to them often, support me in all of my endeavors, and that is something that everyone needs. 

For me, it all started with a 33 year old who was not as confident in himself, had everything to prove but needed some major growing to do. Walking in the first time, I did not sure what to expect, and found in this event a group of people who genuinely want to see me succeed. 

There is a class that I teach that talks about setting goals, and one of the things that we talk about is how critical it is to create your team, how important it is to surround yourself with people who not only build you up when you are down, but also will hold your feet to the fire when you do not feel like getting up and doing the things that need to be done to get where you want to be. Surround yourself with people who will not just celebrate your triumphs but who will, when you stumble and fall, will help you get up, dust yourself off and keep going. 

This journey has not always been easy,   

There were days, when I was ready to give up. Days that on some level I considered walking away, but knew deep in my heart that I couldn't, wouldn't, at least not for real, no matter how much I wanted to. So I kept going. kept working, knowing that if I stayed focused, it was within me to reach that goal. Now the page is blank, and I must ask myself what I will do with the pages, will I rip them up? Will I burn them, or color the pages in crayon, or marker or will I start anew. 

So here we are. as I look at the blank pages, it becomes a question of what is next, how do I get better for next time, and where am I going to go? The answer is forward, and the answer is Combat Con. 

How to get what you (Really) want.

 

What do you want?

    This seems like an easy enough question, there are lots of things in life that we want, or feel like we deserve, but how do we move them from the wanting column to the obtained column? Think about something in your life that you desire. This does not have to be a big thing just something you want. 

Have an answer? Cool. 

Now is where it gets harder. 

    Why do you want it? What would having it do for you, or how would it change the way your life is? What is the deeper meaning behind it? The thing is, we don't want things to have them, though we think we do. We want them for the experience that we will get, or think we will get from them. We want to win the lotto not to have a million dollars in the bank, but because of the things we can do with the money, or the feeling of financial stability that it will bring. We want to win big at the tournament because of what it says about us, or what it says about our progress on what we have been working on. The goal is not about the things, it is about what that goal means to us, what it will DO for us. 

    Even things that we want that we feel we will get nothing out of we have some sort of attachment to. You volunteer at a soup kitchen to feed the homeless. You do this to help people who are starving. Cool, that s a noble thing. But down deep there is something in doing it that makes you feel good. We seek the things we do because they provide some sort of validation, or do something for us on some level even if that level for what they say about who we are as a person. 

    So now we go back to the beginning, what do you really want? If it is not about the thing, is there another way you can reach the why without that specific thing? If winning big is about self esteem, then could you reach the goal without winning the gold medal? If it is about how others view you, are there other ways to reach that? Is it possible to let others opinion of you go so it is not important? The key here is to look at the goal and ask, if your objective lies in the why, is there any other way to get there? 

Lets take an example. 

    I feel like I am out of shape because of my weight, so my goal is to lose weight. When I look at the why, it comes back to me not feeling good about how I look and how other judge me. So the why is really that I do not feel good about how I look and how others may judge me. Are there things I can do other than lose a bunch of weight to fix the perception that I do not feel good about how I look? Can I work on my self esteem to feel better about myself? Can I let go of toxic people who are always talking bad about me to build myself up? If the true why is about how I feel about myself then there are many ways I can get there. When we focus on the why, the way forward may expand. 

    There may be many whys and this is something to contend with. Maybe there is a number of whys, Maybe dropping a few pounds is about self esteem, how others view you but also handling medical conditions you have. The reality is that even in these multitudes of whys there may be more than one way to get there. If I want to drop some pounds, dieting and exercise may be a way forward, so may surgery, or certain medications that help, the way forward is can have many paths to achieving the why, so the reality is that there may be more than one way to get what you want. 

    

    So lets say that I have gone through all of this and the only way I can see forward is what I originally said I want. Now comes the question of priorities. What am I willing to give up to reach this goal? Where does the acquiring of this goal land on my priority list? We have limited time in a day to reach our goals. Where does this land on yours? Is it important enough to lose an hour of sleep to exercise an hour in a day? Is it worth the time away from your family to go to the gym for 3 hours in a night, or spend 80 hours a week selling things to reach your ultimate goal? What are you willing to give up to reach this goal? If you do not have to give up anything, what is stopping you from having it right now? 

    It is ok for your goal to fall low on your priority list, just know that it will always be less important to you than the things that are higher on that list, that is just the reality of it. If you are struggling to keep a roof over your head, and are working 3 jobs to keep food on the table, maybe taking 3 hours in a day to exercise is just not something you can commit to, and that is OK. The reality is that you have to take care of your highest priorities first. 

    This may be a reality check. The reality is that you may have to give something up to get something. Time for time, Money for goods, whatever that is. Set something that fits your timeliness and priorities, but if you need to cut back so you can meet your higher priorities, that is ok, that is life. Do what you can commit to, but make sure it is not at the expense of other things that are more important to you. There is always a cost, what will getting the things you want cost in terms of time or money to achieve. 

    

    Now lets look at timeline. What is realistic given the time you are willing to devote to reaching this goal? Is this something you can reach in 2 weeks, 6 months, 1 year? What is reasonable for you to go from where you are to where you want to be? If I want to lose 50 pounds in 5 weeks, it is going to be much harder than if I can spread it over 6 months or a year. Timeline is important because it gives us a finish line to reach, but it also keeps us on track. If my goal is to loose 50 pounds but whenever I do it is fine, then why start today? Why even worry about it this week, or this month? Timelines keep us on track. 

    What is realistic? If it is my first tournament and I just expect to win first place just because I want it, I may not be facing the reality of the situation. If my goal is to win all of my matches but I have a hard pool, is that realistic? Is doing your best enough, or does it have to be something more? I am not suggesting don't strive for the best, but if you fall short, how will you handle it? Be specific about your goals, but be willing to modify them based on the reality of the situation.  Having concrete goals is great, but be flexible with it if needed. If my only definition of success is to win all my matches and I have a pool of all top tier fighters, can I be ok with doing my best, giving my all, and letting things fall as they will? If not, then I may be setting myself up for disappointment. All I can do is give it all I have and be proud of what I have brought to the table. 

 

How do you get there? 

    Lets assume that we are living in a perfect world, what steps do you need to do to get you in the right place at the right time to reach your goals. If you don’t know what it will take, ask someone who knows, do your research. Is the bar too high based on your time commitment, or is it just right? Do you need to change the big goal to meet what you are willing dedicate to it, or does your time commitment meet your ability to reach your goal? If you have to move the chains for now, do it, it is far better to reach little goals and add them up, than to set one big goal and feel like you have failed when you fall short. 

    Who is your team? This is not just about support but accountability. If your team won’t call you out when you slip, they are not holding you accountable. That does not mean do not tell other people about your goal, but it means pick a team of people who will check in and keep you accountable. It is easy to be supportive, it is harder to keep someone accountable. Find yours, know the difference between your support team and your accountability team, both support but in different ways. This can be friends, family, mentors, teammates, but if they will not hold you to it, they are supporting you but not keeping accountable to what you say you want to accomplish. 

    

Except when you don’t, because sometimes you won't- Dr. Seuss

How do you handle falling down. Some days you will fall short of your objective. That is a part of life, how will you handle it when it happens? It is easy enough to walk into a new program expecting to never fail, but the reality is that at some point you won't feel like putting in the work. How will you handle it? Will you get up and do it anyway? Will you take today off and get back on it tomorrow? How will you keep going when you fail, or when you just are not feeling like it? How can your support team help you? I am not suggesting set yourself up for failure, just know that eventually it may happen so be ready from the beginning to handle it if and when it does. 

Keep the goal in mind. If you are trying to save money, does going out with your friends and spending money support or hinder that. If you are trying to eat better, does ordering that pizza help or hinder your goal? Do you need to let your coworkers know you are trying to eat healthier so they do not pressure you to take a doughnut or piece of cake in the break room? If there are people on your team not willing to support your goals, can you avoid them to keep your goal at the forefront of your mind? Some people do this with affirmations and mantras, some do it by reciting something in the morning looking in the mirror, or keeping a card in their wallet that has the goal there. Do what works for you, there is no right or wrong way, only the way that works for you. 

At the end of the day no one else can make you reach your goals. No one else can find the why for you and make you live it long term. If you are not willing to do the work, that is ok, just be real about it and know that it is your choice. You are capable of great things but no one else can make you do it if you are not willing to take the first step yourself. 

460 and beyond

 Day 460 of daily intentional exercise in the books. At this point my plan is to just keep going until Combat Con if not past it. (Why not?)

But why do this? Why is this important to me, what does it prove, why does it matter?

This all began, as some of you know at a low point in my training and practice after an event. I did not do as well as I wanted to. It was not really that bad, I looked at the numbers recently and my losses were not huge, and most of the time, keeping my defense strong lead to matches going to time, which is in my mind a win. I felt defeated though truth or not, so I came back home partially discouraged, partially lifted up by others who had told me how much they believe in me and how they like having me around.

I decided the day I got back that though I felt defeated, the only way to come back and do better would be to train myself more. It can't come from someone else, I have to get up and do the work every day. It could not be just more classes, it had to be something I did for me internally.

But why Intentional exercise, what does that mean to the equation?

When I take time out of my day to train, I am in essence saying that this has value to me. I am saying that exercise is a way that I honor my body, despite all its flaws. It is not always easy, sometimes it is short exercise sessions but the key is to keep going. The intention is about being in the right head space. When I train and am distracted, I just don't do as well. This is the case with cutting, sparring or even video game exercise things. when I am thinking about other things, when my mid is on something else I falter. In sparring this can be as simple as thinking about how bad or well I am doing in the match or how the last exchange went, I can't let that rule me or my opponent is in my head space.

I realized a long time ago a problem with consistent training. If I tried hard and failed, I could point to my training as a reason why I failed. If I didn't, I always had the excuse that if I HAD trained harder I would do better. It is a weird thought. I didn't do well, because I didn't train enough, but if I had, I am just so great that I would dominate. The flaw is that sometimes, things outside of your control happen and you get to decide what to do about it. Somedays you will simply be the best fighter on the field and it is hard to come to terms with that. Some days, as hard as you work the cards are stacked against you and push as you want to, you will not walk away with cheers and accolades.

I am done with that thinking. Some days I do not want to do the work. I am over a year in and somedays I just don't feel like doing it. Then I come back to my promise to myself, I will do the work, and the chips will fall where they do. I have a local tournament in a few weeks. After that I have Combat Con a month later. The reality is I may not win medals at either. I am not the only one pushing myself, training my mind and body to do better, but at very least I can leave it all on the field and give it my best when those days come.

"Except when you don't, because sometimes you won't"- Dr. Seuss

I can't expect to win all the time when I am not willing to put in the work. There is not such a thing as "I have been training for X years so I simply deserve to win." It does not matter how good a teacher I am or how great a guy I am, if I am not willing to push myself harder to reach my goals I really can't expect to be better with time. I may not win, but if I am not willing to train to do better if I win it is just because I had good luck that day, and that is not something to be proud of.

So where do I go from here?

Forward. That is the only direction we really can go. I have fallen in the past, I have made mistakes, but if I am not willing to push harder next time, and keep going, I am stuck in a place where I can't win, and all things being equal, I probably shouldn't. The goal is to keep working, the goal is to keep training and pushing myself to do better, the goal is to do my best every day. I cannot promise it will make a hill of beans of difference, but unless I give it my all, how will I know for sure?

365 days of intentional exercise, and the greater meaning of Rule #1

    This morning I did day 365 of daily intentional exercise. It has been quite the journey and I was not sure at the beginning I would stick with it this long. It is easy to give up one day, It is easy to say, I am too tired, or there is not enough time in the day to take time for myself to reach my goals. It is easy, to fall off the horse, and say, I just do not have enough fight in me to make it this time. It is easy to get knocked down and from your back, in the mud and the muck say, I have been bested, I live here now. 

    But that is the thing about it, it is our choice to lay in the muck and the mud as it ooozes through our armor and say, I give up, I just can't do any more. It takes gumption to say, maybe today I fell but tomorrow I will get up stare the challenge straight in the face and say "I get to choose when I am done, and today is not that day." It is our choice to endure even when we have been knocked down. It is our choice to get up, wash off the mud, and keep going. 

    The thing is, that this is not about going at a full tilt and doing actual harm to yourself because you cannot take a break, in fact the opposite is true. There will be days when doing what you have promised yourself takes some adjustment. There may be a day when doing something active means taking an easy day of relaxing yoga, or long deep stretches, or taking a good walk to think about things and process what is going on, and what life means for you. I had days when I did that. I had days when I did not feel good so I took an evening of stretches instead of a hard sweat pouring workout. It happens, that is a part of doing intentional exercise while honoring your needs for the day. 

    I teach a sword class called: rule #1 don't die. the class itself is about doing smart things in your sword work so you are not taking bad decisions for the sake of a quick easy point win. In the tournament and sparring sense, it is a class about choosing what you will do in a fight, picking your shots and doing things that are the best for you. In a larger context rule number #1 is about intentional living. It is about realizing that at any moment your life may end. You may walk down the street and be hit by a drunk driver, or you may live a long long life and die of old age after beating cancer twice. The point here is that we cannot avoid our own deaths. We can do things to be safer, but in the end, we will all meet our ends. 

    There are 2 ways to look at it, if we focus on the end, things can look bleak and dark. If we realize that we are on a path that we can enjoy along the way, we can stop and smell the flowers because these may be the last chance we have. Breathe deep, watch the snow fall, enjoy your meals, hug your loved ones, and forgive those who have wronged you. If this was the end, what would be left unsaid, what would you regret not doing, who would you regret not being? That is what the journey is about.

    If this was your last meal, would you be satisfied with it? Life is too short to eat bad meals, or not take care of yourself. This is what the daily intentional exercise is all about. It is about being in your body, being alive, experiencing who you are. Rule #1 is about living your life with intention. That is where it all comes from. Experiencing the struggle knowing that this is fleeting, this pain, this struggle, this workout, this week in school, or work, will end, and when you can stand in the sun on the other side of the cold winter of it, the feeling of triumph will be amazing. 

    This is the secret of this process, it is about honoring who you are, taking some time alone and doing something for you. I am now facing the beginning of year two, but some days, I know I will not feel like getting up and doing it, but I will because I will endure. To that end, for me, I have written a daily mantra to remind myself of how far I have come, where I am and where I want to be. 

It goes: 

When I wake in the morning, I take the time I need to prepare and face my day with humor, calm, wisdom, and clarity.

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”- Marcus Aurelius

At the beginning of the day, I am grateful for all I have before me, at the end of the day, I am grateful for all I have had the ability and privilege to do and be through the miracle of this body of mine. Every day is a prayer, every day is a blessing.

You sir,  are a badass.

I do things every day that help me reach my goals.

I eat good foods that support my health and fitness goals.

I walk proud knowing all the people who are standing behind me cheering for my success.

I walk tall knowing just how far I have come. I have stumbled in the past, but now when I fall, I brush myself off and get right back up again.

I know who I am, I know what I want, and I let go of the past hurdles I placed in my own way to get where I want to be.

I speak clearly when there are things I need or want knowing that the Universe provides as I speak my truth.

I am clear in mind, purpose and action. I drink the water I need, I take my vitamins, and rest when I need it.

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.” ― Stephen Covey

I am the Iron boar. I am calm and social, but I am always inches away from going wild if I need to be. I am tough, but under the right conditions I am also malleable and changeable. I am strong, and brave, and willing to face the things that scare me. I learn hard things and do hard things because I am strong enough to bear them. My strength comes from within and that strength manifests in my strong body and mind.

I am a willing to work through the tough times because I know in the end how sweet my triumph will feel.

I know that down does not mean out, it just means down right for now, this match, this tournament, this event or this weekend but it does not mean forever.

I have friends who want to see me succeed, because when I do it, we all rise together.

Maybe today did not go so well. Maybe I fell off my food plan, or exercise today but that is a drop in the bucket compared to how far I have come when I started.

A year ago, I made a decision. I would exercise, I would do something active every day. A year later, here I am. This is the first step, and I keep walking knowing that the only way is forward. 

Do something for yourself today.

    Today is day 247 of daily exercise for me. When I first began my journey not only did I not think I would stick with it, I doubted that I had it in me to stick with it this long. So what is the big secret? How is it that I have been able to stick with it all these days, and months? When it all comes down to it the key is to make a decision that you will make a step in the right direction of your goal today. That is it. That is literally all that it takes. Make a commitment today that whatever you end goal is, that today you will do something that will help you reach your goal.  

The way you get to 3 months, or 6 or 9 is to decide that today you are going to do something. Maybe it is a single pushup, maybe it is doing 5 of them, maybe today is all about doing 1000 punches, maybe today, doing something for yourself is realizing you have been cooped up inside all day and taking a walk around the block to just breathe. When it all comes down to it, that is all it takes. 

Some days, you will not feel like doing it. Some days things will feel off, and you do not feel like doing it, especially at the beginning. What it all comes down to is making the commitment to yourself that today you will do something to reach you goal. Sometimes the answer is to do a little less, and that is ok, what matter is to keep with the spirit of the commitment and do something today that supports it. Maybe it is a commitment of taking time each day to feed yourself spiritually, maybe it is taking 15 minutes each day to meditate, or to sit down and read something that makes you think. Maybe the promise made at the beginning is to sit and write your 1,667 words towards your novel. The key is to do decide that you will do something today and honor that promise to yourself. 

For me, I have done a lot of daily exercise challenges from Darebee.com or found a program that I want to stick with. Some days I looked at the book and thought that I did not WANT to do what it was asking me to do for the day. Rather than throw in the towel for the whole thing and skip it, I made a decisions that instead of doing that, I would do something else that I still felt kept me in integrity with my goal.  I did what I could and let that be ok.  Did I push myself to the edge every day going 100%? No. Is that OK? It is. It becomes a question of integrity with my commitment. If I have made a commitment to myself that I will do something every day, what do I feel like is enough knowing that some days it will be harder than others. 

Is it ok to walk 3 miles one day and walk 7 the next, in order to keep in integrity with my commitment? Absolutely. This is not entirely about the end goal, it is about doing something on the path to get you towards where you want to be. I am not doing this so I can lose weight, I am not doing this so I can run a marathon. I am doing it, and sticking with it so that I can honor a commitment I made to myself. On days when the scale does not look so good, and I feel like throwing in the towel, that commitment can feel like the only thing that keeps me moving, one step after another. 

When I started it was about not letting anyone else down. When I first began I had lots of people cheering me on. All these months later it is less about letting them down, and more about not letting myself down. At the end of the day, it is a promise that I have made to myself and when I let a stumble happen, it is only me who I let down. I have made a promise to myself and I deserve to make good on that promise. 

What I suggest is not to look at the long term goal alone. It can feel like a lot to swallow if you have a large weight loss goal, or if you want to write a novel in the next month, but the way to eat an elephant is one bite at at time. Choose where you want to be in 6 months from now, and ask what steps do I need to do every day to get there. Make a commitment to do that thing every day, not starting tomorrow, not starting next Monday when the weather is better, the air is clearer and you feel like it. Start today. At the end of 6 months, you will be six months further in your life whether you start today or not, why not start today and be 6 months older and 6 months closer to your goal? Why wait for the doctor to tell you that you have to make a positive change to begin working on it? Begin today by dedicating yourself to something. If it changes with time that is ok, the key is to be true to your word that you give yourself so that 6 months from now you can be proud of just how far you have come. 

Getting back on it.

Where it all began:

I have not opened up a lot about my tournament performance at SoCal. 

Walking into it, like usual, I had not practiced enough, but felt like I have been fighting long enough that I just should do well. It is messed up, but the word I would use is entitled to a win that I did not earn. 

That is not to say my performance was bad, it was truly OK, it just was not extraordinary. 

I hit a wall, I was discouraged, I felt upset, but I had no one to blame but myself. 

I wanted to quit, but not really. I had friends who would not let me quit, I had friends who would would be sad if I quit, and I knew in my heart, that I really did not want to quit, i was just discouraged. I just wanted to DO better, as if somehow it was something that was owed to me for time in or something. I had to ask myself if I had a student who was discouraged what would I say to them?

From those ashes came this realization, if I am to get better, I have to apply myself. If I am to get better, if I am to lift myself up, I must build myself through training. I made a promise that I would start when I came back exercising every day. Accountability was key, so I found some friends who would keep me accountable. I had spent a lot of time on the bench sitting out drills and sparring, if I was going to get better, this had to end now. 

Getting started: 

The key was to start somewhere, anywhere. In the past I have spent time doing some workouts from Darebee.com. Some of these I had printed out and had in a binder, the thing now was to just pick one and stick with it. For the first 30 days I decided to do ones called the fighters codex. It is a 30 day program that is a series of exercises every day. 

I have been down this path before. I have had great plans to reach my goals only to have a rough day turn into 2 and then 5 then quit all together. This path is not unfamiliar to me. I have started this program before, only to hit a day that it was too late at night to exercise. I have worked until I was just not feeling well so I took a day off. I knew that if this was to be successful, I had to stick with it. 

Day 1 was not easy, but I did it. then the days kept going. 

Day 9 I hit a wall and pushed myself as far as I could, but stopped before it was all done. 

Day 11 I finished the day, and finished day 9. 

I have added, supplemented my workout with other things. 

In the past, I have taken a day off when I did sword, or if I had a long night at sword. 

This time has been different. 

Day 14 (Yesterday) I got home late after taking another sword class and getting some good sparring in. Normally, this would have been a night to throw in the towel, take a night off, not this time. this time I am in it to do as I have said I would. 

Day 15: Tonight, I am halfway to the goal. I woke up not feeling well, after dinner when I started my exercises, it was harder than usual, push ups were harder than normal. I was hitting a wall, but this time I thought, do what you can do, do something, because something is better than nothing. 

Some days are harder than others, but I am sticking with it. 

When I started out, I had 161 days until Combat Con. I am leaning in and realizing that the only way to get where I want to be is to stick with it. I am halfway there. The weight is not coming off as fast as I want but at this point it is about doing something, anything to reach my goal. In just over 2 weeks, I'll start my next program that runs 60 days. For tonight, I am breathing a sigh of relief that I am halfway there, and have stuck with it. That does not mean that the next 15 days will be easy, far from it. 2 days from now the exercise is to do 2000 punches, so it is is far from an easy road forward, but when I reach the goal, 2 weeks from now, I am going to be proud of how far I have come and that is a start. 

Be the blacksmith of your life.

Be the blacksmith

Son,

We have talked about a lot of things here but I wanted to touch on something that I feel is important to say. Be the blacksmith of your life.

I have recently begun doing some blacksmith work. By all metrics I am very much a novice, but there is an interesting fact to it that has carry over to life.

To do his work, a blacksmith heats his steel to the right temperature, then works it into the shape he wants it to be. If you try to work it too cold, things just wont move. If you work it too hot things simply do not hold together the same way as they need to.  The real key is that there must be heat for you to mold it the way you have in mind. Life is like that, your body is like that, your career, school, many things are in some way like that.
Friction causes heat. Life will give you things that you can see as challenges. You lose your job, the person you want to be with doesn’t want to be with you, you wreck your car, it does not matter the specifics, you are handed something that on its surface looks like a red-hot pile of… steel. At this point you have 2 choices, work it, mold it into a win, or something you want, or let it cool and have a cold pile of… steel. Your body is that way. To make it into something you want it to be you must work it, use it, do things with it that make it what you want. You heat it up, and put it through processes that make that happen.

In the last 5 years I have lost my job 2 times. The first was a result of my own actions paired with the actions of my management. (When it feels like someone is out to get you professionally whether they are or not, get out, you will be much happier someplace where they support you.) One was a result of simply not having enough business and the branch closing. Without that kick in the butt, I would not have landed where I did, and I am much happier here. Life will give you heat; you decide what to do with it.  If you do nothing, you have wasted that heat.

That is not to say that all of life’s heat has to move you. Sometimes you heat something up to do some cleaning up of the work, or to normalize and even out the heat. Just because you have a fight with a person you love does not mean you have to leave them, but it is a time of choice, what will I do with this heat? Will I smooth things out and make them what I want them to be? Will I put it on the anvil of life and then go get a drink, go to the bathroom, and be upset when I come back and things are not the way I want them to be?

The things you do are the anvil. They are benign, just sitting there. You get to choose how to use that to make it what you want. That is your hammers.

Be the Blacksmith of your life, forge it the way you want it. If you are unhappy with something do what you can to change it. There is not always a big timer in the sky that says you must do X by Y time. If you work it and are not satisfied with your results, keep working it. If you have to move a deadline, do so, it is better to be satisfied with your work, then to allow something that is important to be sub-par because it was rushed. Take your time for the things you really want, and make them happen.

Combat Con 2019: How far I have come.

5 Years ago I learned a lesson that has stayed with me. When you move from a place of victim-hood to one where you are looking for ways of reaching your goals opportunities for that growth show up. 

My sword life has been a journey from my first Combat Con to this one, in that time I have had failures, and wins, but what brought me through it all was the support of my friends and family. 

A year ago I decided that this year, I was going to go for my HEMA Alliance instructor certification. I decided that it would happen at this event. It was important because this is where this part of my sword journey began. This was really a step it was time to take, and means to me that I am recognized as someone who knows what they are talking about not just locally but by a group of my peers. 

Combat Con is a lot of things, part tournament, part classes, part self defense workshop, part panel, but it is all of these things and pulls them together well. This event does things you don't see at other events just because the net is cast so wide, but the one thing Combat Con has meant to me since early early on is family. This is not a family of blood but one of steel. I do not see my friends who come to this event often as I live many many miles from most of them, but what I do know is no matter the circumstances, they have my back. They stand in my corner when I need help, but always want to see me do well. 

A year ago, when I decided I was going to go through this process, I had friends who stood with me. I had people in my corner cheering me on, offering me advise and really invested in seeing me succeed, and that kind of support makes things easier when the motivation to go on is just not there. 

The process to reach my goal was not an easy one, but it is necessary, things that are worthwhile are often not easy. I had a panel of friends who wanted to see me succeed, but would not cheapen the event by letting me get away with less than I was capable of. Having people behind me that wanted to see me succeed makes a world of difference. I did not pass by a lot, but I passed and now I have things I personally need to work on so I can do what I do better. I had people cheering me on, and not letting me settle for less than my best, even going as far as to compliment me on my cutting and telling me that they would not let me fall back to something less in the future. 

I watched 3 of my local fighters come home with medals, I did fighting I was proud of, and at the end of the day, that is all I can ask of myself or any other fighter. Did I give it my all? Did I do my best today? If the answer is no, then it is a question of what will you do next time. In judging, are you proud of your calls, is this something you can stand behind? 

I was told at this event that at one time, one of my friends hated me when he first heard about me. I was a whiny and not willing to work for my goals. Now, he and I see eye to eye on much more. I fought, through my pools and made it to eliminations, and lost by a small margin. 

We are a family of steel. I have friends who have been there through the whole process, but the thing that makes me the most proud is when I can look back and see how far I have come. 4 years ago, I failed my cutting qualifier, 2 years I passed, but barely. I did not need to do it this time, but if I had, I would have passed handily and it showed. 5 years ago I stepped into the ring not knowing what I was walking in to. When I look back at my fighting then, I am ashamed of where I was, but in comparison I can see marked progress, but more than that, I have friends from outside my club who see it as well, and that is something to be proud of. 

This weekend was the second class I have taught at a big event outside of Utah, but I was honored to not only be asked, but to be treated as an equal by so many awesome people I have taken classes from since the beginning. Though my class was small, it went smoothly and I was proud of how it all went and would love to teach here again.

These events do not happen without the dedication of many hands. When I arrived on Wednesday I helped roll tatami so that we could be ready when we needed, but it all happened in a room full of people who were there to help because they wanted to see things succeed. I volunteered to help judge more matches than I remember and I can see things getting better with judges working hard to make the best calls they can. There are always things to work on, and that is acknowledged by the staff. Judging is a thankless job, and no matter how hard you try, some things will be missed, but what I saw this weekend was people giving it the best they had, and because of that,  it will get better. I have said for years that the cleaner the exchange, the easier it is judge and the better everyone feels about it. Clean exchanges are good fencing. I had an exchange I refused because I did not feel good about but these things should be the norm instead of the exception. 

This event is an act of love, and it shows every year I attend. It meant so much to me to be there with my friends when I took this big step. I had people cheering me on from miles away and knowing that people support you because they believe in you matters. At the end of the day, everyone is a self made man. You start with the cards you are given but you get to decide what to do with it. In this world of social media, it is easy to spout off into the darkness, and have people judge you based on how you come across, but it is what you do to prove that which makes the difference. It is not about ranking or medals or knowing a lot if you come across as a jerk, people will know you as one. 

These 5 years have changed me, but I am in a much better place as a result of it. I may not have medals on my chest at the end of the weekend, but I am proud of how much people support me even if I am not from the biggest most well known club. I am proud of where I have come, and look forward to the years to come. 

Certified

This is not my official Combat Con 2019 review, but it is a part of why I had such a great time this weekend. 

5 years ago, I wrote a blog post about moving my thinking around sword events from "I can't" to "How can I" it was my first Combat Con in 2014 and I was standing at the precipice of something I did not even know the significance of. That was the event that everything in my sword training changed. 

4 years ago, I was talking about how much I loved the community and was amazed by the support I had at Combat Con by people who were not even in my club, people who wanted to see me succeed even if they were not near me. I talked about coaching students who were not my own, but who I adopted since I felt they needed someone in their corner cheering them on. I talked about failure, about falling on my face at cutting and wanting to do better, but not being there yet. 

3 Years ago I missed Combat Con, between a not so awesome new job, and not being sure I would be working for much longer, I decided that I could not spend the money and my family needed to come first. No matter what, family needs to always come first. 

2 Years ago, I fought well and feel like I was making improvements. I passed cutting for the first time, bought myself a new sword and though I did not come home with any new medals, at least my foot was in the door and I felt I was getting better. It was as much as anything about my family of steel, not just blood. 

Last year I moved into eliminations, and fought as well as I have in years. It was the year of the no win match, the year I realized I know my stuff and helped teach, it was a great year and at the end of it I decided that this year, I would be back and go through my instructor Certification in 2019 so I was finally reaching some teaching goals I had set for myself. 

Then I crashed my Motorcycle. 

For the better part of a month I had a hard time walking much less fighting in class. I spent time hoping that I would be back on my feet soon, but not sure how long it would take me to be there. This year though, I owned it. 
I set my mind in motion to do my certification and spent a good part of the year, working diligently to make sure my students had classes that were helpful and of a good quality. I spent time working hard to make it happen for myself, and the betterment of those who I teach. Yesterday It happened.

Before all of this I had been giving a lot of thought to HEMA Alliance instructor certification. Weighing out the pros and cons of what it would mean and why I should even go for it in the first place. It is a lot of work, some good hoops to go through, but that is far from a bad thing. 

There are some benifits to it for sure. If we are renting space and someone wants to make sure I am not just some kid who is teaching indoor backyard sword stuff, this at least says that I am representing the certifing  body who does the certification. It means outside of my local group or my local clubs, there are people who believe I can teach. 

Being a certified instructor does not change who I am or that I do teach. It doesnt mean that all of the people who don't do it are in any way less of great teachers. Yes, it did force me to come up with a more solid curriculum, but this is only a benifit I have seen for my students in the last year anyway. It means that whether I know it or not,  people who do not see me week in and out, believe in me and that I can teach. 

I am proud to say that after yesterday, I met that goal. The process is a good one. The fact that it happened here, at the event that was my first one, and changed how I was doing things is significant to me. Combat Con is a special place to me, and this is one more reason why. 

I have work to do, things I need to improve on, and frankly, if I didn't, a lot of value would be lost from the process. The second I belive that the things I teach and the way Ido it is the best and cannot be improved on I have stopped growing as an instructor. But the sheer joy of seeing a big goal through to completion is empowering, and there is no where to go but up. 

Rule #1 Don't Die

"There is only one god, and His name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: 'not today'." George RR Martin- A Game of Thrones 

Rule #1 in sparring, and in life is and should be don't die.

Yes I know this does not work long term, every person dies, but that does not mean that you should do dumb stuff and quicken that inevitable end.

I have spent a fair amount of time as of late watching new students and it comes across to me that somewhere in their training someone has encouraged them so much to get in the first shot, that they have not given how to do so safely much thought. The thinking goes, "if I can hit the other guy before he hits me, I win" This may be so in sport fencing or in some tournaments, it may even be so that if you can hit the other guy more times than they hit you you win, but ultimately this is not the best strategy. The best strategy is to walk away if you can without being hit at all. This is harder than it sounds and I don't suggest people sit and just try to defend themselves without countering or doing anything in response, but at the end of the day, the person with the best defenses will simply be hit less and that is always a win. In this essay I will talk about sword fencing specifically since that is my area of expertise, but these things apply to other martial arts and living in general. 

So how do you follow rule #1?

There are 2 ways, the first is to be proactive, the other is to be appropriately reactive. 

Pro-activity in a fight: Get in the first shot

"Nuke 'Em, get them before they get you"- Robocop

"The best defense is a good Ofense, You know who said that? Mel the cook on Alice" Tai Kwan Leep- the Frantics 

The first way to stop the attack is to simply attack them before they have a chance to attack you. 

Don't ever assume that because you pose a threat that they will have to deal with it before they attack. Sure, a smart person with see a sword point in their face and try to do something about it, but assume that no one is a smart person. If you threaten them, they can do 2 things, they can ignore the threat and get hit or hurt,  or they can deal with it, but always pose the threat assuming that they will do nothing to protect against it. Some people are just not in their right minds, some people think they can move faster than you, are stronger than you and can take it, or that if they take a hit they can hit you harder it is worth it. If you can avoid interacting with crazy, do so, if you can't assume that they don't know what they are doing, are on drugs, or are otherwise not smart and make sure you stay safe as you deal with them, preferably at a distance. 

Throughout this lesson, I do not want to understate that this can work. If you see someone on the street who looks like they want to fight you and you knock them out cold first, at least they did not attack you right? Besides the legal implications of this, there are some logistical problems with this thinking but it can work to accomplish the task of not dying. If you don't like people living in a multifamily unit is probably not the best option. Sure shooting anyone on the street that you see with a handgun keeps them from shooting you, but you can only get away with this so long before having some legal and ethical problems. 

How do you do this in long sword fighting? If you can read their intentions from their body language you can tell where they are likely to attack, or what they intend to do and from there you can stop it. Is their weight on one foot or the other? What can they do from the guard they are holding? How are they holding their body, are they tense, or relaxed? Are their shoulders forward or backwards? What motions have you seen them make and what were the results of that? 

If you do not know the guard, ask yourself, what does this the way they are holding their sword tell you about what they intend to do. You may not know that guard but something with their point at you or generally towards your face or torso is good for thrusting, a guard with the point away is better for cutting, there are some exceptions but you get the idea.  

The truth is that you may not be able to read them 100% especially if you are just getting started, but what you can do relatively easily is eliminate what they cannot, or are not as likely to do. If they are holding their sword upright on the right side of their body with their left foot forward they are likely to be cutting from that side. (Zornhaw, or Fendente) What they are not going to do: cut from the left with a simple step on that side. To do this it takes more time and when they change, you can see them change. Something I always tell my students is that they cannot do that from here, unless they change, in which case it is not from there anymore. 

The real key here is to cut off their line of attack while making yours. If they are going to thrust, don't thrust back, rather: block their line of attack as you attack even before they move. 

Another quick and easy way to do this is to move as they are changing guards or moving their point away from you, or taking a step as they are in transition and their intention at that point is to move from A to B not to move part way then attack. 

Reactive: Be prepared 

Avoiding the legal implications of shooting the guy who has a gun before he has a chance to draw it and shoot you is really easy, just don't do it. Throwing the first punch before they get a chance to throw one, is easy, but it starts something you may not want to deal with. If the guy with the gun does nothing, you have no problem, if the guy who looks like trouble does not trouble you, there is no reason to get into a fight for nothing. 

Fiore's art is largely one of stopping the attack as it comes and responding with something of your own. This can be accomplished by controlling your reach and theirs by adjusting your measure. If you are out of reach, and they step with a cut, while you step backwards the same distance nothing has changed, they have not gained an upper hand, and you have neutralized the threat. In my class on this, I have some drills that can be done that teach this but again it is a question of watching what they are doing and responding when they move.  If someone attacks you and you respond by just defending yourself, you may not have won the day, but at least you were not hit and have thwarted their attack. This is not ideal but if you live to fight another day, it is a win in my book. 

This is not to sat that this is an easy task, occasionally I run a drill where the objective is to just defend yourself for a period of time, and it is one of the hardest things to simply defend, but it is a good lesson to work with. This does also not mean that you have to meet their strike with your parry to defend, If they are cutting at your leg and you step backwards with it they have missed their target and you have some great openings. If someone is rushing you and you can sidestep and let them run into a wall, all you did was take a step and it was them who missed you. There are drills that I teach that are in line with this and what we find is that it is a fun experience to be the one who is simply moving, and a frustrating one for the person who is trying to make a grab. 

Covering your Line: Finish it right. 

No matter which way you accomplish rule number 1, the last thing you have to do is to get away properly.  The idea here is that no matter if your attack lands well,  or your missed entirely, you still have to follow rule #1. If you cut their arm, and they cut your head just afterwards you have not followed rule 1. You hit them first, but they hit you after in the leg? Good job on being there first, but what if it was not good or it was not called, you have to protect yourself always to follow rule #1. If you see the guy in the street with the gun who is not likely a threat, but you know where he went, you are at least ready if he becomes a threat. In a tournament an opponent is not a threat when he is not a threat. If a hold has been called and you stop your defense, there is nothing to stop him from sweeping your leg and getting a penalty for example. 

Conclusion: Rule #1 in life 

Tournaments are not real life. We use weapons that are safer than the real thing, we wear protective equipment that helps make things hurt less and protects us. but that is not ALL of rule #1.  If you are sparring without a mask and get hit in the head, you could have a headache, a concussion, or die, even with safe weapons. Rule #1 however goes a step further, it is not just about the fighting floor, it is about being safe in life. If someone aims a gun at your chest and asks for your wallet, give it to them. It is not worth dying for a few cards and a couple bucks. If you can avoid the places where people are likely to start a problem with you, do so, it is not worth the time and effort to have to defend yourself if you can stay safe and avoid it. If you see someone on the street who gives off a bad vibe, walk away, maybe you are wrong but better wrong and safe than right and dead. If you are driving, this is all about watching other drivers to know with or without a turn signal what they intend to do. That split second means you can make smart decisions and stay safe. At the end of the day, we will all not be able to avoid death. I have to say Not today, to many times in the last few months, but if you can make smart choices you may be able to choose a better time than right now for your end to come and that makes all the difference. 

SoCal Swordfight 2019, it is about community

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof." Richard Bach, Illusions 

I threw down my gloves and mask, "I just cant do this!" I said. It was 2 days before we left for SoCal Swordfight and I was doing some free sparring in our sister club before we headed to California. I know that people were trying to help, but 2 days before an event there is only so much one can do to fix problems in your fighting. That being said, here I sat, tired, and frustrated and not sure how the upcoming weekend would work. 

Within a few more days I was in California, sharing a room with students from all of the 3 Utah clubs, and though I was still not sure how thins were going to pan out, here we were. 

Utah is a strange place when it comes to HEMA. There is a class that meets in the same space I do, we share equipment, we teach new students together with a universal curriculum, and between the 2 of us we rent 8 hours at the gym a week. The other club is 30 miles south of us but every year we all get together at least once or twice to have local tournaments and have fun as one big community. In name we are separate classes, but in many ways we are one team especially when we go out of town. 

By the end of the weekend I judged more than 80 matches, took a couple classes, the fighters in our clubs took home 3 medals and I am very proud of them. 4 of the 6 who entered Open steel moved out of it to eliminations, we had several who moved out of their pools in Singlestick and overall I am very proud of my team. They my not all be my students but when we go out of town, i feel like they are all my team. 

As for how I did, it was not as good as I had hoped. I did not do well in either tournament I entered. Single stick is a fun one for me and it went OK, but not super well. In Open steel I won 2 matches, and lost one, but because I did not win by large margins, I did not move out of my pools. I WAS able to use a technique that I have been working on, and it was not super easy, but I am very proud of it. 

After my tournament I was discouraged. I have been back in sword 10 years, and I have made progress but am frustrated with where I am. This weekend however I talked to some of my friends who I have spent time with over the years and was told that even if I can't see progress, they can. We talked about my options, I can kick my training into high gear and improve, I can not apply myself and stay were I am, I could drop sword completely, or I could step things down fight in an easier tournament and place higher. 

There is a lot of things about each one but when I talked to one of my friends about it on Sunday,  he pointed out that there is only one option. I am not happy with where I am, so staying where I am is not an option, quitting is not and never will be on the table (I may retire from fighting in tournaments in a few years but that is not right now) I can apply myself. I know the people who do the tournaments I attend and no one will let me step into a lower level tournament. This is because they know me and won't let me settle for less than I am capable of. 

Here is the thing, I have people cheering me on. They are not a huge number of people but they want to see me succeed. Some of them are local, some I just see at events, but the point is they have my back and are cheering me on. These may not all be people I am related to, but they are people I consider family. There is a quote from Its a wonderful life that says "No man is a failure who has friends." I do not see these people often, but they support me and are cheering me on. 

I judged something like 80 matches, because I feel like it is important to do. I donated the time because I want people to have a great time when they are at events, and any way I can help that I will do. 

At the end of the weekend I had people asking me when I am doing a local event, I had people telling me how they feel I am doing, and with so much encouragement it is hard to not feel loved by the community I love. If I could say that tournaments were about one thing at the end of the day, it is not just about winning prizes, though that is definitely fun, it is not all about testing yourself, because some days or weeks or months are just off. If I could say it was about one things above the others, it would be to share our love for what we study, make friends, cheer them on, and at the end of the day to come together. I know people who train because they know that if they don't someone else is, they train so they can win a medal or beat someone in particular, but for me, above all else, it is about community. 

 

I want to close with the lyrics from Just one person from Snoopy the musical:

Snoopy: 
If just one person believes in you. Deep enough, and strong enough, believes in you. 
Hard enough,and long enough before you knew it, 
Someone else would think, if he can do it, i can do it. Making it..

Snoopy and patty: 
Two! Two whole people who believe in you. And if two whole people believe in you. 
Deep enough, and strong enough believe in you. Hard enough, and long
Enough there's bound to be some other person who believes in making it a threesome. 
Making it...

Sally joins: 
Three....people you can say, believe in me. And if three whole people, why not...

Linus joins: 
Four. And if four whole people, why not...

Lucy joins: 
More, and...

Charlie brown joins: 
More, and more. And when all those people believe in you, 
Deep enough and strong enough believe in you, 
Hard enough and long enough it stands to reason you, 
Yourself will start to see what everybody sees in you. 
And maybe even you, can believe in you, too.

Thank you all for believing in me even when I am not sure I do. It means more than I can ever say.