What are my priorities?

Tonight after work I had a meeting with an academic advisor then had some errands to run and a bit of down time before I had to be at my fencing class.

I spend a lot of time thinking about my Sword class, what I want it to be, how to make it better, what my long term goals are, but something hit me as I was thinking and writing in the down time tonight. I have to decide what my priorities are and go from there.

It was something that was clear. I have to decide what my priorities are before I can have any clarity about anything else. This is not just a sword class thing, this is a life thing. I have to wake up, decide what is important at any given moment, and either give it the priority it deserves or in not doing so, choose something else as the bigger priority.

In life, I have struggled with my weight for years, but the reason I do not take it off and keep it there is that in the moment, I allow eating the wrong things to take the priority over what I say id my big one. The satisfaction of that burger, or candy bar, or soda, takes the priority over how great it feels to eat well and how alive I feel when I exercise. I let the satisfaction and sometimes apathy of watching TV all night "because I deserve the down time"  take priority over things that make me feel good long term. So the question becomes what is my priority now, and will I allow the now overwhelm what I feel is the bigger Yes burning inside of me. This is not just a fitness or non-fitness thing, life is full of these decisions.

When it comes to my sword class I realized tonight that to me, my priority is to help my students reach their goals and produce the best quality fencers I can. I would rather 10 students who are dedicated and willing to study and do what is needed to reach them, than 100 students who show up because they have nothing better to do with their afternoon. The challenge is quality has to be defined both by me, and by my students. If my true priority is quality, I have to be willing to let everything go that does not support that to reach those goals, while also looking at their priorities of my students and realizing that we may not see the same things as quality.

Motives play a big role in this. I remember a few years ago one of my fencing students goal for the year was to beat so-in-so in their competitions. Who am I to say that it is not a good goal? I disagree with it, but that does not mean that it is any less real for them. I have to be willing to look at those goals and ask myself, what can I do to help them reach those goals? I must be willing to provide the tools I can, but I cannot make them train everyday out of class, I am responsible for giving them tools, but they have to make use of them if they want to reach the goals they set.

I am a big fan of being clear and that being what brings things into your life that you desire. In my HEMA class, that means being clear about what we are doing, being open to the needs of the students and also knowing that if I want quality students, I must be a quality teacher who is always looking to get better at what I know and how I teach. The moment I quit and say it is good enough is the moment that I accept that as the high mark for my students. You attract what you put out there. If I dropped the gear requirements and allowed boffers in class, we would grow. If I stopped focusing on building the best Swordsmen I can, and just had fin classes all the time we could be huge, but that is not what my priority is. My priority is to have the best students who want to come and learn the best I can give them to be better. If that means I have 10 students, or 100 students, so be it. At the end of the day if I am willing to do anything less, I am not being genuine to myself, and letting myself get away with less then my best.

You have to be willing to look for your best, and let everything else go. To make priorities, and stick with them. In life, though I love sword, it has to come down to this. I have to take care of me then my family, then my work, then my hobbies, and even those get sorted from time to time based on keeping my word and timeliness.

In life it is about priorities. wonder where yours are? look at your life it will give you all the feedback you need. As Voltaire put it, "The enemy of the best is the good." Some days you pick the good enough, but if you want to get where you want to be you need to let that go and pick what will get you there.

Why Compete?

I have asked the question the last little bit of several students and some others outside of my school why it is that they compete in local events and events at large. Here is my take on it, Drills have their place, I do action X my opponent counters with action Y thus proving why action Y is the perfect corolary to action X. Then I get a turn. We do this over and over until I can really feel the actions happening instead of forcing them to happen. Then comes the test. Can I do action Y when it is not scripted? When I may not know that my opponent may be "helping me"? I hope that this is not the case, I hope that my opponent is trying to make it work, so much so that if I do it wrong, they will in fact hit me. But why compete?

I compete to get feedback. When I am working with cooperative partners on a controlled drill it is easy to think that I am the best fencer ever because I can do this drill just right. The problem is that they may be "helping me" whether they know it or not. When I am teaching I tell my students that if their partner does not get the form right they should make contact and hit them. If the drill is one where student A is thrusting and student B is parrying student A should be trying to hit student B (not so hard they are hurting them but enough to say, hey do it better next time) the parry should be a good one. I sometimes have to remind them of this as I start to see with a little time on the drill people thrusting to places that there is no one there. In fact, if student B just stood there, they would not get hit at all. This is not always conscious but it does happen. When I say I compete to get feedback that is what I mean. My opponent should be trying to hit me, and I should be doing my best to counter that.

Fencing, be it Historical, or Modern fencing is a mental game. In the last few years I have come to see this more and more as I have been working more on it for myself. Find what your opponent is doing and then exploiting that is a great idea. Making them do what you want them to, is a better one, but either way it is about getting in their head and walking around. I have know people who crack when they have been hit 1 or 2 times and then the game is yours, I have also known some who are hard to figure out and it takes the whole match for things to go your way.

Competing, or at least free play, is a way to see how I am doing as a fighter. If I am having a hard time with something, I will go home to practice that, but the feedback is where I see how well I am doing to fix those problems. If I am doing terribly at hitting my opponent at the same time they hit me, I need to work on that, but I don't know if I am getting any better unless I get feedback, and for me that means doing it and seeing how I feel.

At the end of the day, the decision to compete is very personal. My instructor may feel like I am doing great, but if I can't see it, then it does not matter how he feels, if I feel like I am not improving.

The other side of it is this. I have been teaching my regular class for just under six months. In that time, I have had new students join and it seems like a few leave me to take classes elsewhere, or maybe leave completely. The reason that competing is important to me, is that it is a way of seeing how I am doing as an instructor. I do not get to take full credit for all that my students do, the best ones will be practicing outside of class and will probably be doing their own study, but competition's let me see where I need to work with my students in class so the next time they can do better. At the end of the day how they do is up to them. I can only give them tools to work with, but they are the ones building their skills and overcoming their obstacles. At the end of the day however if I am seeing improvement I know that I am doing an alright job. If I see problems we have not addressed, we can work on those. If I see problems that we have and are still not better, then it may be time to vary my approach. If I see back sliding and people not working on issues we have talked about or just becoming more sloppy, then those are changes I need to make in my way of teaching so that they improve.

In the end what matters is how happy we are with how we are doing. Not every fencer is going to be a gold medalist, and not everyone wants to be. For some people they just want to come to class, have some fun, learn a few things and go home. If they never go to an international event, that is fine by them because that is not what it is about for them. To me competing is about feedback. Seeing how I am doing both as a student and a teacher and deciding just what I need to work on as both. I have had times when I pushed myself hard and realized that it paid off. I have also had times when I thought I was pushing myself hard and it was mostly just thinking about it, not actually doing anything to improve. To me competing is about feedback and that feedback is invaluable.

An apology

I have not always been so kind to those who do not agree with me. On more than one occasion I have been known to point out others hypocrisy. (You say you are Christian, but Jesus said to love thy neighbor, you say you are Christian, but Jesus said to pray in private and you will be rewarded openly. ETC)  This is not my place, nor is it the place of anyone else  to tell you how you should be to be what you say you are. I may see the double standard but I will let it go. There is a problem with "Proving" people wrong. you never really do, at least not with their rhetoric. If I point out that you are Pro-life yet for the death penalty, it does not suddenly make me a better person.
My point is this. It is better for a man to do be in integrity with his word. I cannot make anyone else do that but I can do that for myself. It is not my place to point out where people are not being in integrity, but rather to be a good person onto myself.
I will still disagree with things you say and do. but there is no need to point to them and show you that you are not doing as you say. That will not win me points with anyone, and certainly will not show them the error in their ways. If you want to be a crappy Christian, fine, that is between the God you believe in and you. It is not my place to point out when you are being a hypocrite, that is not going to show you the light. I will stand for what I believe is right, but I will not resort to Ad Hominem attacks to do it.
In my mind it is more important to be a good person than to say you are and not act that way. In that way, I have been wrong. It is wrong of me to judge others and then be mad when I am judged. That is something personal to me, they are my own demons I have to wrestle, but it is not my place to point yours out, nor is it yours to point out mine.
Wouldn't it be great if I did not have to wear my religion on my sleeve for you to think I am a good person? Wouldn't it be great for you not to judge me by what I say I do, but by the things I actually do? Wouldn't it be a better world if I your opinions of me had nothing to do with who I vote for or how I am registered to vote but rather based on my actions and deeds? I for one am done with it these anyway.
Rather than proving to you I am a good person it is far better for me to be one.
If you do not agree, it is none of my business, but I am not made a better person because I wear my faith on my sleeve. I would rather meet a man with a great calm and peace about him and ask him how he finds it. I would rather see the fruits of your labor, then come to you and ask my questions about where you find the strength to accomplish those acts and have you tell me. I do not wear my faith on my sleeve, but if you want to ask, ask and we will talk about it. Either way, I am done letting how I vote be a way for you to judge me, that is none of your business, and it should not be something I have to shove in your face to be worth believing in.
I will keep my faith in my heart, where it belongs. I am sorry for my actions of not doing so in the past. If I am wrong about this, let me be wrong, it is not your job to save me but rather if I need saving for me to seek it out. Let me ask you.
I am done making myself right by making you wrong. It does not work, and makes more enemies than friends, and in a lonely world, isn't it better to have friends who you do not agree with to bounce ideas off of, than to have only friends who just support your way of thinking?  I am done playing the game, you are welcome to continue, but please do not rope me in to prove your point, rather find the truth for yourself and you will find the answers for you that you need.

Make them play your game, or the 3 types of fighters.

Make them play your game

In any match or bout the key to winning is to make your opponent play on your terms make them play your game,  but how do you do that?

In my estimation there are 3 primary ways to do this. Constantly attacking, being passively aggressive and being primarily defensive.

Aggressive: The first way to make them play your game is to be aggressive, that is to say constantly pressing your opponent with attacks or threats of attacks until his defense fails him.  

 In Cod. HS.3227A in verse 18V we are told not to strike the sword; instead go for the openings. 

If you take the initiative (Vor), he has to respond (Nach). If you are constantly pressing, your opponent has to either defend themselves, or do something else to counter your attacks. The challenge with this is that if your attacks are predictable as in you throw the same cuts in the same order with the same timing, it is easy to pick up on it and know just when and what you are doing. If you only press with 2 or 3 things then break they may see this pattern, wait for you to break, and then counter attack. So for this to be truly successful you have to press your attacks constantly without relenting. Aggressive fencing also means controlling the footwork and distance. If you make a step forward, they have to take a step back to keep the same distance the same goes for steps offline to the right or the left. If you move first, they have to counter thus you have been the aggressor in the situation. 

Passive Aggressive: The second way is for you to lie in wait for their openings before you attack. The passive aggressive fighter allows their opponent to attack and then relies on counters to those attacks to successfully land their blows. They know how to counter a particular attack so simply parry the attack and counter it to land their blows. They are frustrating to fight as they study the ways to counter an attack and simply use your attack and openings against you. One of the major disadvantage to this style of fighting is that you have to know how to counter things and feel comfortable with it or else it is ineffectual in practice and you can be overwhelmed very quickly. A huge point to this is if they are constantly pressing you and you counter only to have to counter again, and again, it is not as easy to get your counter attack in. If I was going to place a style to this and tie it to the German technique I would say that this is much in the style of the Indes. This is something that you do when they strike to immediately gain the advantage. 

Defensive: Defensive fighters are less likely to use counters as much as simply defend the strike, or in some way get out of the situation. They are looking for an opening, something they can take advantage of quickly and easily but will wait for as long as it takes to get it. Sometimes this means you have to chase them all over as they are controlling the fight by making you come to them. They are patient, and willing to defend themselves as often as they need so they can get the right opening, at the right time for what they want to do. What this translates to is simply never being able to get anything in as they are only looking to continuously counter your attacks until they get the opening they want. They are not always the highest scoring fighters but they are some of the most frustrating as a key is to thwart all of your attacks and get you off your game enough that you miss something.  Fighting someone who does this well is not unlike fighting either a steel girder, or a wisp of smoke as depending on their speed and how they want to fight, they can be both. Defensive does not mean that you take all attacks with back steps, some of the best steps you can take are forward with the defense, but the key here is to be patient enough that they get the best strike they can, often after you have struck and missed. (Nach). 

No good fighter fights just one way all the time, a successful fighter combines a bit about each in some way, and knows when to be aggressive, when to defend and when to set a trap for their opponent to hide their true intent. The key however is to make your opponent do what you want them do to. Retreating so they have to close distance to attack you is making them play your game. Holding a particular guard so they attack what you have open is a way to make them play your game. Feinting to something and watching their response to your attack is a way of making them play your game.  Even attacking the same place 3 or 4 or 5 times so they think you are just going to do the same thing over and over then switching it so they block an attack that is not coming and giving you the opening you want is a way of making your opponent play your game. All of them are useful but each has the right time and place. It is up to you to learn when to use each and how to use them so you can make them do exactly what you want them to. In this art the one who wins is the person who makes their opponent play their game the most, can get in their opponents head and at the end of the day make their opponent play the way they want them to. The key is to make your opponent play on your terms and make them play your game.  

What is my work? My ideal job.

I have now been out of work for longer than I wanted to. In fact, I have been out of work longer now than I ever have before. But what kind of work do I want to do, and what do I feel is my passion and where I want to go?

Let me say that not all of these are hard and fast rules but this is my ideal this is what I am attracting to myself, this is what I am going to bring into being for me.

I will start at the beginning.  The thing most central to me is making sure I am taking care of my family. To that end, I need to make enough money to pay the mortgage and the other bills we have. I have to be bringing home at least $15 dollars an hour to do this with one full time job. If I have a job and then have to add a part time something that is time away from my family, this I do not want to do.
I want to work Monday through Friday or Sunday through Thursday. I would prefer this so I can continue to teach sword, which is something that I love to do, and really gives me a lot of joy. I would prefer to work 7-3:30 or at the latest 5 or so. That is not hard and fast, I am willing to work some holidays or Saturdays or overtime, but I would rather not do so on a regular basis.
I would prefer to work some place with benefits this means paid time off, so I can attend HEMA events and go on vacation with my family.

Now to the big one. What do I need from a company?
I want to work for a company I believe in. A place that I believe in the mission and and purpose behind what they do. A place I am proud of telling people I work for and who provides a service that people need, not just selling them stuff they do not want. I want to believe in the place I work, but feel like I have a place in that, and that the work I do makes a difference. Not just on the bottom line, but to the people I serve I want to go to work and feel like the things I do matter not just to the company I work for, but for the people I serve.

Of course I will waive on these if I got a phone call tomorrow offering me work, but this is what I desire, this is what I believe I deserve and something I am willing to work with to get there but this is my vision, and this is what I am going to bring to me in the next bit so I can get back to work.

Building a class, building a curriculum, and having my best turnout for class yet.

Yesterday was awesome.
I have now been an instructor in my class for a total of just short of a month, but yesterday we had the largest turn out we have had in quite some time.

When I was handed the class, I had some thinking and some working to do. How would my class look? What were the big lesson plans for the weeks? How did my progression look for my students? Was there anything I wanted to add into what we teach that would help people or change the way we do business?

To that end, I wrote out a lesson plan that covers every week between our local competitions, with one week a month being a beginners class where we teach our basics as a class. There are also some weeks added in like snow days in a school calendar so if we have to cancel class or move things around, we can do it without throwing everything off.  Each week has a central idea that we will be covering, but they are their own lesson alone, so if there is progression of an idea, it is happening in that week versus happening over several weeks. The best students will be the ones who show up every week and learn it all, but if you have to miss a week or 2, you are not lost when you come back. Some weeks we set out to cover so much material, and we just to not get it all so I have to prioritize what the most important things are so we cover what is central and most important. Added to it is the weeks of basics classes where we just work on what is central to our system so new people and those who have been around for awhile have a chance to work on just the fundamentals.

I have been asked many times when is a good time to start class with no real answer I could give new students except to say that they were welcome to start any week and we would pull them aside and show them the basics. As I was building the curriculum for classes though what struck me was that if I added in 1 week a month doing a class that was just basics it was an easier answer, and something I could have my students tell their friends or family to come and check out if they were interested on those weeks. In the past, we have done this as something that if a new person shows up to class and wants to learn the basics, we teach them basics off to the side. We are still doing that, but this new class is a way of saying, if you are looking for a good week to start, this one is it. We as a class feel so strongly that our basics are so important, we will spend 10 weeks out of 52 teaching just those basics. (Really 5 out of 26 as we repeat the curriculum every 6 months)

Yesterday was awesome. We had 21 people at one point in time, which is more than I have taught in a long time, and of those, 6 or 7 were new or relatively new. Added to that were a few who were interested, but who could not make it last week so may hit the next one in December. As we go along I am finding that I am working on the lesson plans intently, and it is my hope that in so doing I am teaching my students the best way I know how with the materials I can teach them with. I have not been above looking at other peoples lesson plans when I have seen them and gleaning from them big ideas I can work with, even if the lesson does not look the same at the end, and ultimately I am trying to avoid the trap of things being X way no matter what, as if I can't be flexible, I am not teaching my students in the best way for them based on what they need.

In the last month, I cannot say I have lost students. I hope what that means is that they like my classes enough to continue showing up, and with time I can help them reach their goals in class whatever they are. Not everyone wants to teach, not everyone wants to compete in the international stage, and not everyone wants to compete locally. To that end, I have to do all I can to support what it is they want to learn, and the goals they have set for themselves even if that goal is to be able to better fight X person.

I was asked a question in an interview the other day where do I see myself in 5 years? I had a moment of clarity and I realized that I see my lot in life to help develop people. Help them reach their goals and dreams. To me, that is what teaching sword is. Teaching this art is a way to help my students reach their goals and dreams.  I cannot give them the will to reach them, or hand them the goal on a silver platter, they have to do that themselves, but I can be an aid when they are looking for some direction. I may not have all the answers but I know where to look to find them, and will do all I can to help them find those answers. If they want it, they will have to reach for it, but I can offer some guidance and some direction if they are unsure or are looking for help.

I help develop people, and to that end, even without a full time job right now, after class yesterday, I feel like I am doing what my calling is to do. I teach, because I can't help not teach, and that is reason enough to do what I am doing in sword.

Day 0: Welcome to the world!

My dear son, Welcome to the world!

As of today, life expectancy in Salt Lake county, Utah is 78.1 years.

A gallon of Gasoline costs: $2.39

A loaf of bread at Smiths costs: $1.79

A dozen eggs costs:$1.99

A gallon of Milk costs: $3.29 though you can get it on sale for $2.59

A regular movie ticket costs: $9.50 

A 3D movie ticket costs: $11.50

the number 1 movie in America for last weekend was: Goosebumps

the number 1 song in America on Billboards top 200 was The Hills by the Weekend ( I do not know this song except to know that they were on Saturday Night live a couple of weeks ago.) 

Over the last couple of days the weather has been cooler and rainy on and off. 

You were born into this world at: 9:51 PM

You were 8 pounds and 15 oz and 21.5 inches long

Those are the statistics. Life is much more than that though little guy. 

Story of your birth: 

On 10/19 your mom went to the midwife with high blood pressure. Last night we stayed home, hoping that you were going to come when he blood pressure went down. On 10/20 I went to my appeal case then came home, your mom worked a while then came home, were we ran a few errands. We picked up some toys for Sam to play with and tear apart and a couple of things from Target for you, then picked up Crown burger for Bacon Cheese burgers. Your mom had Onion rings, and a Strawberry shake, I had Fries and a Power aide. When we talked to the Midwife she said to call the hospital about 7 to find out when we can go in and start what we needed to so you would get here.

It is now 6:30 and your mom is taking a shower while I am waxing introspective on the cycle of birth, and the changing from one stage of life to another. It is strange to think that in a short amount of time I will be a father, whether I am ready to be or not. This is a big change as my life is no longer only mine alone but also, for a time as a role model and support for you and your mother. The only such transformation I have been through before was that of being married, where in one moment you move from being a single person to a part of a couple, to something more than that, a couple for life. When you get married you are saying that you choose that person for now, but also for always. Things may change that, but that is the idea when you marry.
Fatherhood is something different. It is not having a child then at some time if things are not working out leaving them. Like it or not, I am your father for life.

At 8:30 pm we checked in at the hospital and started the stuff to ripen your moms cervix and by 2:00 am your moms water had broken. By 5:00 am we were still waiting but your mom was feeling better after having gotten some sleep. Because of the medications that they have your mom on we have had to have have you monitored all night. It was not the plan, but we did it anyway. The funny thing about it is that we had been listening to it all night and the consistent rhythm made sleeping easier. It was a calming wave sound and its consistent rhythm had allowed me to feel that soon you would not be just sounds and pictures on a screen but someone I could hold and love for the rest of my natural days.
All of the day on Wednesday someone was with your mom. Your aunt Cookie and I took turns in in the room with your mom. Every time she needed to get up and go to the bathroom. we were the first to disconnect the machines and move the IV, then move it again when she was ready to get back in the bed.

We waited all day but she had not dilated beyond a 2. By 6:00 pm things had gotten to be too much and your moms anxiety and pain had gotten to be too much for her to bear so she asked for the epidural. Again, this is not something we had planned on, but sometimes plans change. In the birth plan we had 1 central idea which was respect your mom, respect the baby. The choice was your moms and in the end, that is all that matters. Our ideal has always been healthy mom, healthy baby and as long as we are able to bring you home, and we feel our choices are honored we have come to the place that it will be OK. Sometimes life is like that. When I married your mom, not everything happened how we had planned but in the end we left Vegas happily married and that was all that mattered.

By 9:00 your mom felt like she was ready to have you and she had dilated to a 10. Once the midwife got there your mom started pushing. The pushing took less than a half hour and you were born by 9:51 on 10/21/15. As soon as you were born we put you on your moms chest. and she got to hold you for the first time. During that time you pooped on your mom a couple of times. By 10:22, your mom was not doing so well and so I took my shirt off and we started doing some skin on skin while they figured out what your mom needed. You aunt cookie says that it was crazy fast the way I did it but I was ready to hold you and wanted you to have the skin on skin that we had agreed you needed. I helped them weigh you, and then you pooped on me. I clamped your cord, and cut it both the first time, but also the second time. You started your life at 8 pounds 15 oz though we are pretty sure that with how much you pooped on us, you were born over 9 pounds.

Within 24 hours we had not left you alone with anyone. Every time they came to pick you up, I put on shoes and went with them. When you were a bit over 1 day old, they had been tracking your blood sugars and they had not balanced. So they did some blood tests and it was decided that they would be keeping you for awhile. The doctors think that you had an infection in your blood and worked to bring it down.
We gave you a bath on the 23rd and you have been doing little more than eating and sleeping, but we want you to get feeling better so we are doing all we can to make sure that you are good.

The first time someone watched you without your mom and I was on 10/23/15 when your mom and I had to go check into the hospital as a "hotel stay"since your mom was discharged as a patient as she was doing OK. On that night you were also moved to the nursery for the first time so your mom and I could sleep. I had been sleeping for hours and your mom felt that it was better for you to stay there for a few hours. On the morning of 10/25/15 when your doctor came in we were delighted to hear that we could bring you home. The hardest part of the last few days was not knowing when you would be able to come home, so this was great news. We left the hospital parking lot at 2:47 pm on 10/25/15. Yesterday you had your first 2 elevator rides. and got to meet your Zia Mary, and Granny, as well as seeing some of your family that you had already met like your Pompa, Grandma Judy, Grandpa, and Ama.

It is great to be home. and we are so happy to have you home and here. Moving forward I will be writing on the blog I have set up for you. Welcome to the world son. I cannot tell you how much your mom and I love you and we will do everything we can do to make sure you are taken care of and happy when we can. It is a beautiful place, and I am excited to be with you when you begin to explore it.

your blog can be found here and I have encouraged family to subscribe to it ans I will not be posting it all over so if people follow it they will see it but if not, they won't

http://punchystory.blogspot.com/

Love you
Dad